Oh dear. The papers this morning are full of stories that illustrate why the police are incapable of managing themselves, why they shouldn't be run as the national State Police by the government and why we desperately need to take them back under local control.
The first is of a man who spent 18 hours in a police cell and had his fingerprints and DNA samples taken after being arrested by five plods for allegedly dropping an apple core in the street. No doubt they feared he would cause distress and alarm to the immigrants driving on the street without licence, tax or insurance or that he would frighten the gang of thugs peddling skunk from under the nearby Macdonalds canopy.
Secondly is the tale of a pederast police inspector who would make young men strip and expose their parts to him whilst they were being cautioned for drug dealing, theft, robbery and suchlike minor offences. The real question is why his behaviour went unremarked for so long; it was not until a teenage cycle thief, who remarkably seems to have had two parents at home rather than the usual one, complained about it that the matter came to light. A further dozen youths then came forward to confirm that, yes, they had undergone the same procedure. But presumably had considered it so perfectly normal that they hadn't thought to question it. And there may be another score or more youths who provided ex-inspector Gerard Hutchings with his kicks but are too illiterate to have read the appeals to come forward.
Still, there's always the 63 year old postmistress to prosecute for whacking some young scrote around the ear with her parish council minutes. She was cultivating the village flowers for Britain in Bloom when they were exercising their 'Yuman Rights' to kick a ball around carelessly and destroy these symbols of local pride.