There's something very wrong with Miliband's head. It looks as though it's been sculpted out of plasticine by someone who has studied human physiology but not art. It doesn't connect. It looks weird and a bit alien. Everything's in slightly the wrong place and slightly the wrong size. If he got on the bus, you'd hope he wouldn't sit next to you, in case he revealed he was an anarchist and had a nail bomb in his rucksack. It's not a head that ordinary English people subconsciously recognise and trust. His electoral prospects are therefore somewhere around zero.
Harriet Harman's head is the right shape - she looks like a trusty care assistant from the local nursery - but unfortunately it's filled with rubbish. She's the sort of person who thinks the Da Vinci Code is a documentary, the moon landings were faked and Lee Harvey Oswald didn't shoot JFK. Straw always looks like a weasel who's laid a trail of silent farts. Only Alan Johnson looks normal and English; if he walked up your path with his postie's sack over his shoulder, you'd damn well better be grateful and don't even think about complaining about the red rubber bands he leaves on the doorstep. I could like Johnson.
Anyway, with Miliband's piece in the Guardian this morning, the leadership race is on. I think Miliband is destined to be Labour's Portillo. Harman will scupper her own campaign. Straw will be too cunning for his own good. All Johnson has to do, really, is not mention the leadership race at all, tell a few Yorkshire cricketing anecdotes, be pictured drinking a pint from a dimple mug and let it be known that he's an angler. He could also drop the words 'common sense' into soundbites, something the public won't associate with Liliband because he's a weird ideologue or Harman because she's an empty-headed ninny or Straw because he's a duplicitous bastard.
This could turn out to be a decent summer after all.