Sunday, 16 November 2008

The narcissism of third-rate talent

The leaking of an obscure and third-rate politician's memo to his civil servants reveals like nothing else the debilitating burden of deranged narcissism. Liam Byrne's (who?) memo informs civil servants, in effect, that Byrne regards himself as the most important person in the world, and that they are obliged to pander to his ego.

This is a delusion shared by most politicians. Even when being introduced to the Sovereign, they will glance over her shoulder to see if there is anyone more important behind her.

However, Byrne neglects to mention the time at which he prefers to take a dump. This is an oversight on his part, as no doubt it now requires a civil servant to sit in the ministerial toilet and warm the seat all day in anticipation. If he could instruct his civil servants as to the fifteen minute 'window' in which he will evacuate his bowels, no doubt staff efficiencies can be realised.

6 comments:

Blue Eyes said...

A fascinating glimpse into the workings of the inner party. Do all ministers have such documents produced for them?

patently said...

I don't mean this as a joke, honestly.

This is an absolutely serious question.

Who, actually, is Mr Byrne? I try to follow politics, but I haven't a clue who he is. The name kind of rings a bell, but nothing beyond that.

patently said...

And what on earth does "Finance are a vital part of the initiation conversations” mean??

Anonymous said...

@ patently

It means that the person who wrote the sentence is a subliterate mick who would be best served by going back to primary school for remedial English and/or dyslexia treatment.

Presumably as a child Liam was too busy getting buggered by a priest to bother learning the English language and, as a teen, he was too busy raising money for Sinn Fein-IRA.

dearieme said...

"Never work for the workers" is old advice - not for a Trade Union, the Co-op nor the Labour Party.

JuliaM said...

"If he could instruct his civil servants as to the fifteen minute 'window' in which he will evacuate his bowels, no doubt staff efficiencies can be realised. "

Well, don't they get fair warning - each time he starts to open his mouth...?