Wednesday, 28 January 2009

Bill of Attainder

As Heffer quite rightly draws to our attention in the Telegraph this morning, no new legislation is needed to rid the Lords of the bent Labour peers. Any MP with a slot for a private member's bill to his credit can introduce the following Bill:

Be it therefore enacted by the Queen's Most Excellent Majesty, and by the Lords and Commons in this present Parliament assembled, and by authority of the same, that the Baron Truscott of St James', the Baron Moonie of Bennochy, the Baron Snape of Wednesbury and the Baron Taylor of Blackburn, for the heinous dishonour of Parliament, stand and be adjudged and attainted of dishonour, and shall suffer degradation from the title style and dignity of Barons of the Peerage of the United Kingdom, and incur the forfeitures of their goods and chattels, lands, tenements and hereditaments of any estate of freehold or inheritance in the said United Kingdom, which the said Barons or any other to their use, or in trust for him, have or had, the day of the first sitting of this Parliament, or at any time since.

Job done. And a few bob back for HM Treasury to boot.


Blue Eyes said...

Err, isn't a Bill legislation?

Raedwald said...

Good point that man! Well spotted. What I should have said is no new prolonged and complex legislation to regulate the Lords is needed.

Blue Eyes said...

Actually I think we do need one piece of new legislation: a very simple Corruption Bill.

patently said...

Ah, yes, I think I know what that would say by the time it was passed:

The Corruption Act 2009

An Act to end all undesirable and corrupt activity within Her Majesty's Houses of Parliament

(1) An member of either House of Parliament who, in the opinion of the Home Secretary, has acted in a way likely to bring dishonour upon the House concerned, or otherwise cause still further public disaffectation with the conduct of politics should that be possible, or otherwise get up the Home Secretary's nose, shall be subject to any of the penalties set out in section (2) hereof.

(2) The said penalties shall include:
(i) Imprisonment for an unlimited term
(ii) An unlimited fine
(iii) Expulsion from the House concerned
(iv) Suspension from the House concerned
(v) Having their office and their home ransacked by Officers of the Metropolitan Police, being arrested for a bit, then being released
(vi) being asked to stand up and read out a insincere and grovelling apology written for them by someone else
(vii) Having rude things written about them in blogs
(viii) being appointed as a European Commissioner before returning to Parliament when things get tough for the PM

(3) Save that
(i) Members of either House being affiliated with the New And Glorious Labour Party of Our Saviour Mr Brown may only be subject to the penalties set out in subs 2(vi) to 2(viii)
(ii) Member of other parties may only be subject to the penalties set out in subs 2(i) to 2(iii).

(4) This Act may be referred to as "The Corruption Act 2009".

patently said...

Ooops. s(3)(ii) should of course read "Members of other parties may only be subject to the penalties set out in subs 2(i) to 2(v)"...

(Hey - no-one's perfect!)