Saturday, 21 February 2009

Dear Mr Leahy ....

Dear Mr Leahy,

You will be aware that the government's legislation requiring alcohol drinkers to be recorded on videotape will require you to fit CCTV cameras to the Sherry shelf (although it is less clear how you will be required to edit the footage; what about a browsing shopper just reading the labels on your own-brand Solera without making a purchase? Or the Imam's wife taking a short-cut to the halal cabinet via beer and cider?).

I would therefore like to reassure you that I have today fitted a CCTV camera to my front door, covering the doorstep and front path. When next your Tesco Direct driver delivers my weekly bottle of Madeira, I shall ensure that I record myself taking delivery of it, and undertake to keep the tape for 60 days as required by law.

Will this be sufficient do you think, or should we co-ordinate your store video of my order-picker taking the Madeira from the shelf with my video of it being delivered? Please let me know.

Warmest regards



lilith said...

Radders, how do I comply if I buy my wine from a wine club?

it's either banned or compulsory said...

Dear Radders,
Thank you for your undertaking to film yourself taking delivery of alcohol based liquids; however I should point out that all our delivery drivers have on-headgear CCTV to record same so your efforts are uneccessary.

Another writer has alerted me to the number of alcohol based liquid containers to be found empty in public lavatories, I have taken steps to alert the authorities, recommending CCTV in these together with public recreation spaces, pedestrian underpasses, transport termini and other areas where anti-social drinking of alcohol based liquids is assessed to take place.

Due to budgetary constraints insufficient cameras are currently available so such venues will be closed until funds become available.

Thank you for your support and co-operation in this matter.


Anonymous said...

I wonder where this leaves home beer and wine makers. Under the table, perhaps.