Wednesday, 25 March 2009

A busy day in Brown's Britain

The fridge is getting empty so I'll have to make a trip to Tesco later, as the smoke from the day's dying Hindu funeral pyres flutters over the recreation ground. I'll keep a sharp look-out for Jihadist terrorists as I browse the fruit and veg aisles, in line with government guidance, and try to ignore the 10% - 25% increase in imported foodstuffs as a result of Chairman Brown's world-saving fiscal management. I also need to remember to offer both a full-face and profile shot to the CCTV cameras above the Sherry shelf. After I've apologised to the Nigerian checkout girl for not bringing old plastic carriers with me, and therefore being personally responsible for killing a whale somewhere in the world's oceans, I'll have to remember not to leave the bags unattended outside the store; Balkan asylum seekers have been quietly lifting these recently. I'll have to trust my Sri-Lankan minicab driver to take a route avoiding both the police checkpoint and any likely locations for Jihadist roadside bombs, and hope he doesn't examine the cash too closely, as forged notes and coins are increasingly present in our pocket change.

Ah, to be in England now that Spring is here!

5 comments:

Blue Eyes said...

Brilliant post. Although I do not attach as much negativity to our rainbow society as you do.

Elby the Beserk said...

Mr. Eyes. I think the post is more about our beloved government than our multi-hued country, yes?

Anonymous said...

Brown is the colour of poo.

Kinderling said...

In the last 10 years there are so many people here who were not born here. Very unlike the immigrant people of the 1950's, now assimilated, who were invited here to fill jobs.

They are the NuBritish. Those who simply outstayed their visa and six months later in a Bed and Breakfast got the Right to Remain.

In this small act of deception, their whole lives will never allow them to join to a country they betrayed. So they betray it more. For love is giving, to be welcomed, and they were not welcome.
And when organised crime come over and find them, they are afraid to rock the boat, and so gangs settle into ethnic areas. Afraid to lose what little they think they've got.

it's either banned or compulsory said...

Don't forget to brush up on your Yoruba and Hausa language skills since it isn't the Nigerian checkout girls fault that she can't be bothered to learn the language.