Seriously Botched Economies (SBEs) are serious, sometimes painful ailments that can cause damage to your nation if not treated. Some SBEs affect only one part of the economy, others can damage the entire nation. Don't let this happen to you - get a confidential diagnosis
Don't be embarrassed!
It is important to know that many countries like you get SBEs. As many as 10% of the World's nations suffer from some sort of SBE. If you feel embarrassed, the most important thing to remember is these problems are very common amongst economically active nations. Getting treatment from the IMF is the most important thing, to ensure it doesn't spread to other countries.
The IMF will prescribe an appropriate course of treatment. This may involve removing the source of the illness such as a Socialist government as well some nasty medicine. Don't be tempted to use another country's medicine; it may not work. Don't stop the medicine when the symptoms start to clear up; you need to see it through to remove all traces of the Socialist virus.
What are the signs and symptoms?
You may not show any symptoms, but if you do, you may have the following:
- Pain in your purse area, or difficulty in passing cash
- Loss of interest in opening letters
- Pain and irritation caused by Socialist politicians
- Lethargy or enforced indolence as the virus attacks your income
- A drip or discharge from your wallet that you cannot control
- Burning or pain when viewing still or moving images of ministers
- Increased time spent in the Jobcentre Plus
- Loss of house or other accomodation
The easiest way to avoid an SBE is not to vote Labour. If you must vote Labour, take the following precautions:
- Only vote Labour in seats where another party has an unassailable majority
- Vote Labour then write 'HOON' on your ballot paper to ensure it's spoiled
- Wear a blindfold when marking your ballot paper
- Try voting Lib Dem or Green rather than full Labour; this can be just as satisfying for many people, but at far lower risk of catching an SBE.
(Britain should not be embarrassed in going to the IMF, says Cabinet Minister)