Sunday, 14 June 2009

Balls up to mischief

Today's exclusive in the NOTW reveals that Balls is ready to play Brutus to Brown's Caesar should Labour still remain stuck at the bottom of the polls in four months. Too late, comrade. Labour's bolt is shot.

However, the Tories have been here already, although near two centuries ago. The conflict between the oafish Brown and the whippy youngsters such as Miliband is not a new one. Rayner notes that 'Castlereagh was slow-witted, tenacious and almost inarticulate in speech; he had never swerved from what he considered to be his duty, despite growing unpopularity and ridicule. Canning, on the other hand, had a lively and flexible mind; he was a brilliant orator, with a vein of showy rhetoric and a 'pretty wit' that sometimes made him appear flippant. Canning considered Castlereagh slow, stupid and obstinate: Castlereagh considered Canning as superficial, flashy and untrustworthy'.

Castlereagh was part of the unsuccessful Ministry of all the talents. Gordon's Government of all the talents gives the ascendancy to GOATs over MOATs, I expect, but will collapse with equal alacrity. Castlereagh became paranoid, imagining that past homosexual acts would be revealed. He eventually cut his own throat with a letter-opener, at his home near Sidcup. He was not mourned; Lord Byron wrote of his grave
Posterity will ne'er survey
A nobler grave than this:
Here lie the bones of Castlereagh:
Stop, traveller, and piss.
Hey ho.

3 comments:

lilith said...

This has the smell of Mandelson all over it.

Bill Quango MP said...

Canning didn't fare too well either.
To this day Canning's total period in office remains the shortest of any Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, a mere 119 days.

idle said...

Nice one from Byron.

I was musing on Belloc's epitaph the other day:

When I am dead, I hope it may be said “His sins were scarlet, but his books were read.”