Sunday, 19 July 2009

The Lake District - Gordon's spiritual home

The Lake District National Park Authority (LDNPA) is almost as deeply loathed as Gordon Brown is himself; its lunatic pursuit of perverse socialist objectives at cost to the people who live and make their living from the Lake District, its elevation of a dodgy environmental credo above the lives of the local communities, its deafness to criticism, its cavalier attitude to taxpayers' money and its shameful incompetence must all make the Lake District a spiritual home for Gordon Brown. It is therefore no surprise to learn that he is to holiday there this year.

He and Sarah may have to engage a private guide, though; the LDNPA may by now have closed its guide facility for serving an audience that is too white, too middle-aged and too middle class. The Azara blog commented;
Who the heck are the morons who lead the Lake District National Park Authority (LDNPA) and do they serve any purpose in life whatsoever. If you have to make budget cuts you say "we are cutting service X because we can no longer afford it", you do not say "we are cutting service X because we hate the people who use it, and bugger off all you horrid middle class people who dare to come to the Lake District". The Cumbria Tourist Board must be tearing its hair out. The British never have gotten the idea of tourism. Repeat three times: "the customer is always right". The LDNPA instead believe "the customer is always wrong".
On efforts to 'improve access' for the disabled, inner-city hoodies and pregnant Somalis, Azara says;
Note that "a National Park for everyone to enjoy" means that most of the current visitors to the Lake District (those who take cars) can go to hell, so in fact it is really "a National Park for most everyone not to enjoy". One of the problems with the Lake District is that it is already far too manicured, and no doubt the LDPNA will not be satisfied until there is a child buggy accessible route along Striding Edge. (Don't laugh. The Green Mountain Club in Vermont had to install a wheelchair accessible toilet at one of their shelters in the middle of nowhere because of federal government regulations. Where the morons of America lead the morons of Britain are sure to follow.) And you can bet your last euro that "youth; people with limited mobility; ethnic minorities and inner-city dwellers" are not well represented on the LDNPA itself (ah, but rules are for the little people, not the rulers).
Not only walkers and ramblers hate the LDNPA; boaters loathe them even more, if anything. Now I can understand not creating wash in canals and on inland rivers where it erodes the banks, and the need to keep speed down. But the Lake District is made of, er, rock. It's quite well known for it. A thousand speedboats cruising for ten thousand years wouldn't erode the shore by more than a millimetre - but the LDNPA banned them anyway. Yep, and they employ speed wardens to ticket boaters going faster than 4mph.

The LDNPA only really wants to see rag-and-stick boats hand-crafted from storm-felled Elm planks fastened with organic snot, with sails woven from clotted yoghurt and dyed with hand-trodden woad, and sheets and halyards spun from ear-hair. And they have to be s-l-o-w. So that the Somalis have time to get their cameras out.

So, Gordon, enjoy your hols; it's now become exactly your sort of place. I leave the last word to an ex-Lakes boater;
"Two years ago we had 4 boats plus a jet ski (and tenders) on the lake between my dad, my brother and I. We spent over 8K in mooring fees, £1500 in petrol for boats, another £750 in petrol for cars, £2500 on service and repair costs, £1000 on improvements (toys), £1000 in the supermarkets and shops and approx £4000 in the bars and restaurants (maybe a little more). We know this because we kept a track of our spending to give to the 'stop the ban team'. We also had guests up most weekends who used the B&B's and spent a fortune in bars and restaurants. So if we call that another £4000 the total loss was a small £22,500 for one family! We had been using the lake for over 25 years and always had at least one boat or caravan on there.

We spent the money because Windermere was our escape. We spent time together as a family with the children growing up in a healthy environment and they knew their cousins! At the start of this year all of the boats were removed. From a Family perspective we have only all met up once in 7 months! Previously it was every weekend.

As you can guess I am very bitter as it has ruined a way of life. Yes we could have stayed but to see something you love ruined (for us) would have been tragic.

So I feel sorry for those businesses who gave us such a great life for twenty five years who are now suffering. Of 8 People I know who said it would not affect them two have sold their boats and 5 are for-sale. Only one is staying put!

The money that was spent here has now been moved to Spain where we have bought a property. One boat is imminently going down there and the other (two + jet ski sold) may well in future years. Not only has the Lakes lost the money, the UK has as well.

Well done LDNPA! You are the best at wrecking the economy to save a tree or two (although I personally never damaged any trees, or actively damaged the lake banks) and do not believe their guff!"

6 comments:

Blue Eyes said...

This is the bit I don't "get" about socialism in all its forms. There is no reason that the Authority should not promote access by improving infrastructure without trying to wind up the existing visitors.

Lefties seem to think that to "win" you have to do the successful down as well as dragging the less successful up.

davidncl said...

Fuck off Blue Eyes. You do so get it.

The whole point is to piss directly into the mouths of the "more successful" / mummy & daddy. After working on them with a cane / cattle prod for bit.

What part of hate and destroy don't you understand?

Is it the total nature of it. The sexual overtones, the mythic quality, what?

Wake the fuck up. They are trying to kill/starve/enslave you.

banned said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
banned said...

^ above deleted for correction

I spent some years in the Peak District National Park so have experienced some of the nonsense.

If they are so keen on minority access why don't we rustle up a few coachloads of Hoodies from Peckham and ship 'em up to LDNPAs HQ
Murley Moss
Oxenholme Road
Kendal
Cumbria
LA9 7RL ? Or better still, wherever our Leader is staying.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure the LDNPA is a bunch of statist metrosexual lefties who take great delight in doing down the traditional visitors to their area, etc etc etc.

But credit where it's due: anything that gets rid of jet-skis can't possibly be all bad.

One cheer for doing that.

Raedwald said...

No great fan of Jetskis myself, and 'Raedwald' only does 7kts, but surely there's a place even for the boy racers somewhere?