Friday, 21 August 2009

Londoners love the new ciggie packs - smoking UP 26%

In the Autumn of 2008 the State introduced compulsory grisly pictures on the back of all cigarette packets; I am delighted to report that Londoners have taken to these in a huge way, and that spending on cigarettes in London has soared by 26% as they've become a must-have item.

Croydon residents are the champion smokers, increasing their puffing by 95%, whilst the burghers of Bromley managed only a meagre 12%, an analysis published today in the Standard finds.

Beer, ready meals and junk food have all shown similar large increases in sales in London, whilst fresh fruit and veg sales have fallen.

Clearly, whilst Gordon's driving the economy to the bottom of the ocean, Londoners are opting to get blattered with a fag in their hands, relying on the salady bits in the after-pub Doner to provide their five-a-day (yep - lettuce, onion, cabbage, tomato and a picked chilli pepper makes five).

Makes you proud, doesn't it?

4 comments:

Dick Puddlecote said...

The pictures on packets are like the old cigarette cards that are not allowed anymore. Instead of collecting something inside the pack, they're outside. ;-)

The survey says we are going out less and paints a picture of anxious Londoners bingeing on alcohol, cigarettes and comfort food at home to forget their worries.

Going out less and bingeing at home? Last two years. Since summer (July?) 2007? Funny that.

Scrobs... said...

Oh yes - pillocks eating crap is te best motive to avoid anyone smelling of fag ash...

Anonymous said...

Not bought a packet of cigs in a
Britsh shop for years.


Ps I do live in England though.

Cheers Gordon and Alastair,
dont do English Pubs no more as well.

El Cid

Kin_Free said...

Exactly El Cid

"spending on cigarettes in London has soared by 26%"

Who are these people -buying cigarettes in LONDON?!! I didnt think anyone did that nowadays!

We are in the EU now dont you know, and we should be supporting the EU. Buying in UK means restricting our export trade.

Look! We maufacture cigs, export to places like Spain where they add their tax and we go over there to buy them back! Simple - it keeps the export trade going, the tourist trade going, transport etc.

Why else would Gordon want to tax our cigarettes to the point of extortion - with menaces? See, he knows how to beat the recession!!