Tony Blair yesterday announced the publication date for a re-written gospel that he's penned himself. "I didn't see the point in having four" Blair said yesterday "when they all tell the same story. Also the language is still out of touch with peoples of all faiths; we mustn't let the gospels create a sectarian view that there is only one true religion."
Blair is reported to have written the New Gospel during his many hours in the air, flying between the US and his Mediterranean holiday home. The Vatican reserved its comments yesterday, saying "If Mr Blair is a Catholic, he will submit the manuscript through his bishop before publication."
At his press conference yesterday, Blair said "The originals were written a long time ago, and things have changed a lot since then. Nowadays, for example, we know there's no problem with being rich as long as you express concern about social justice - that's why I've scrapped the bit about the rich man and the camel and the eye of a needle. No-one understands that these days."
The Blair Gospel will be available from Amazon.com and all good booksellers from 1st October at £14.99