Friday, 9 October 2009

Excuse me, what do they do?

I remember once being quizzed by a colleague's young daughter on a 'bring your children to work' day, no doubt now banned by Labour unless everyone in the building has undergone an enhanced CRB check. "What do you do?" she asked. I explained my key areas of responsibility. "Yes, but what do you do?" she repeated, a little more firmly. I expanded into organisational roles. "Yes, but what do you do?" she repeated in frustration, and the penny dropped. I explained that I made phone calls and held meetings and worked on a computer and visited various building sites to watch the builders and wrote letters and signed documents. She nodded in satisfaction, her view of the working world confirmed.

Looking at the Met's senior management structure, in which civilian 'directors' outnumber police officers, I'd like to ask Paul Stephenson "Yes, but what do they do?". Take a look at this:-

Director of Information
Director of Resources
Director of Human Resources
Director of Public Affairs
Director of Legal Services
Strategic HR Director
Director of HR Operations
Director of Leadership Development
Director ofLogistical Services
Director of Catering Services
Director of Transport Services
Business PartnershipsDirector
Business Services Director
Strategic HR Director (2)
Strategic HR Director (3)
Programme & Information Manager
Director of Property Services
Director of Finance Services
Director of Strategy & Improvement Department
Director of Procurement Services
Director of Asset Management
Director of Construction
Director of Facilities Management
Director of Resilience & Compliance Group
Director of Commercial Operations
Director of Exchequer Services
Director of Business Development, Core Finance & Special Projects
Director of Business Support
Director of Business Strategy
Director of Business Performance
Director of Category Management
Director of Supply Chain Management
Head of Service Delivery
Head of Security, Standards & Architecture
Head of Business Systems & Integration
Head of Business Services & IT Training
Deputy Director of Information
Head of Technology
Deputy Director of Public Affairs
Assistant Director (Olympics)
Assistant Director (Head of Internal Communication)
Assistant Director (Chief Press Officer)
Director of Business Development
Director of Diversity and Citizen Focus
Director of Business Support
Director of Forensics
Head of Business Services (Human Resources)
Head of Business Services(Finance and Resources)
Director of Business Services

That's 49 senior civilian managers. Each of them will probably have an entire department of civilian middle managers and admin staff under them. Each of them is regarded as equivalent to Assistant Commissioner, Deputy Assistant Commissioner or Commander rank - so a very senior tier of management. But they substantially outnumber the senior Met police officers - 4 ACs, 7 DACs and 26 Commanders.

For this is Ian Blair's New Labour police service - no longer a force, no longer accountable to the communities that employ them, but a creeping gangrenous inefficient central department of government in which the rot has penetrated to the bone.

It's time to re-design the Met from a zero base. Central specialist squads - diplomatic and royal protection, anti-terrorist and one or two more, under the Commissioner and responsible to the Mayor and Home Secretary and funded from a central government tax precept, and local Territorial forces responsible to local watch committees, each with a CID department, sharing intelligence and pooling manpower for policing major events in the capital, with a new Metropolitan Inspector of Constabulary responsible to the Commissioner, who would have a new role - standards overseer for the local forces.

The radical reform of the Met should now head the agenda of the Mayor and the Shadow Home Secretary; June 2010 should see the publication of a White Paper that will give London a chance to have a real say over its policing.

8 comments:

Scrobs... said...

When I saw this excruciating list, I thought "They'll never have anyone in Business Development..."

Wrong - there are four of them! What sort of 'business development' tasks are there to do I ask you?

My old building contracting firm had some management guru crowd round to shake them all up, especially the middle management. The funniest result was when they eventually asked the Chief Exec exactly the same question, "What do you do", and it was soon realised that he did nearly bugger all! Same went for the MD!

The management consultants didn't last long of course, especially as they did a report which described the "**** Snail"; when someone sidles down a passage, leans into an office and starts talking about nothing in particular! That didn't go down well either!

Firm went pop a few years later with the same people i/c...

JuliaM said...

Some of those are frankly bizarre.

'Director of Exchequer Services'..?

Anonymous said...

... and what differentiates the Business Services Director from the Director of Business Services? It's truly an Alice in Wonderland structure.

Demetrius said...

Once I was on a military general staff of a division numbering 17,000 men, with lots of tanks and other stuff. It was run by an HQ whose numbers in total, the General, lesser officers, and clerks, was less that the number of Met Directors. And our job was to fight a war. It was a long time ago, and there were no Health and Safety rules.

Savonarola said...

I worked in HK for a major group with many tiers of management between the operationg cos and the Top Management.

One day someone asked this question of on of these Management Companies. 10 Directors and their support staff left. The operating units flourished.

The same question was asked by my good friend, the late Julian Baring, of the mining/finance house in RSA. They have all gone. They existed for benefit of staff.

I hope someone in Cameron's dept reads this post. Shock and horror. What would Peel say?

sean lynch said...

Brilliant post, mind boggling this apparatus for apparatchiks.
What a scam it all is.
This is what David Cameron means when he says big government, an endless list of very well paid non jobs financed from the public purse.
This bloated overpaid state burden has to be tackled and it won't be Labour, they set it up!
So what! says Balls of Labours' debt mountain.

banned said...

Great post, please bring it to the attention of Boris, a good place for the culling to commence, I don't suppose their 'custmers' would mind that much.

Dave said...

I thought I'd have a go at categorising these and grouping them together to see how much overlap there was, and to see how many Directors there ought to be so carry out those functions. It's a slightly tricky task as some of the titles are so opaque that it's difficult to tell what they might mean, but I come up with about 12 legitimate corporate functions, categorised below (no particular order). Most of these are functions that any large organisation would have (with the exception of Forensics, which is a fair enough addition; also, Legal would sometimes be part of a wider directorate, but I figure it's reasonable for a Police force to have a dedicated legal person), but the Met seems to have about 4 directors for each:

INFORMATION MANAGEMENT
Director of Information
Head of Business Systems & Integration
Head of Business Services & IT Training
Deputy Director of Information
Head of Technology
Programme & Information Manager

HR
Director of Human Resources
Strategic HR Director
Director of HR Operations
Director of Leadership Development
Head of Business Services (Human Resources)
Director of Diversity and Citizen Focus

COMMUNICATIONS
Director of Public Affairs
Deputy Director of Public Affairs
Business PartnershipsDirector
Assistant Director (Head of Internal Communication)
Assistant Director (Chief Press Officer)

LEGAL
Director of Legal Services

LOGISTICS
Director ofLogistical Services
Director of Catering Services
Director of Transport Services
Director of Resources

PROPERTY
Director of Property Services
Director of Asset Management
Director of Construction
Director of Facilities Management

PROCUREMENT
Director of Procurement Services
Director of Commercial Operations
Director of Category Management
Director of Supply Chain Management

FINANCE
Director of Finance Services
Director of Exchequer Services
Director of Business Development, Core Finance & Special Projects
Director of Business Support
Director of Business Performance
Head of Business Services(Finance and Resources)
Director of Business Services
Director of Business Support
Business Services Director

STRATEGY
Director of Strategy & Improvement Department
Director of Business Strategy
Strategic HR Director (2)
Strategic HR Director (3)
Director of Business Development

SERVICE DELIVERY
Head of Service Delivery
Assistant Director (Olympics)

STANDARDS & COMPLIANCE
Head of Security, Standards & Architecture
Director of Resilience & Compliance Group

FORENSICS
Director of Forensics