Dear US Immigration Authority,
It has come to my attention that a British subject could potentially be giving false information to the US Department of State in relation to a non-immigrant visa. In particular, in answer to the question "Have you ever been arrested or convicted for any offense or crime, even though subject of a pardon, amnesty or other similar legal action? Have you ever unlawfully distributed or sold a controlled substance(drug), or been a prostitute or procurer for prostitutes?"
The subject, Nazir Ahmed (Baron Ahmed), born 1958, an IC4 male, was reported by the Guido Fawkes blog as having said 'I spent two weeks in prison which the judge overturned. So legally I’ve never been in prison.'
Ahmed was sentenced to 12 weeks in prison in 2008 for dangerous driving. The sentence was suspended for 12 months on appeal after Ahmed had served 16 days in prison.
Ahmed achieved fame in his youth through the possession of an unusually commodious rectum, which he claimed could accommodate up to 500g of gold or jewellery. In a party trick, he would collect the watches, rings and bracelets of fellow guests in a plastic bag and secrete this on his person before inviting those present to search him.
I just thought you should know the above.