With apologies for the lack of deep posts - not due to me having started the seasonal relaxation early, but rather to a hangerload of work to ensure we hit the ground running on 4th January after the construction industry break - all turkey-eaters can look away now.
In years past, our old neighbour Jessie displayed a green and sustainable AGW countermeasure years ahead of her time by castrating cockerels. Without their gonads, they would not burn off energy constantly hankering for female company or strutting around eachother, and grew tame and sleek and fat as footballs. A Sussex White capon for Christmas provided the substance as it were that a shoebox of a goose lacked. A capon was always the Christmas feast years before the first foreign turkey entered our shores. Until recently, when castrating cocks was made illegal.
You might imagine this to have been another piece of EU lunacy, but not so; it was a peculiarly British piece of lunacy, inspired by the 'fish are people, too' folk who didn't object to hatching eggs to grow into meat but insisted it did so with a full complement of testicles.
So throughout Europe as our cousins feast on roast capon, the British table is restricted to the products of Bernard Matthews' vast Norfolk sheds. Or not. Those nice people at French Click (no interest, just a satisfied customer) will deliver you a fresh 3kg capon this week but at a price - about £40. Old Jessie would have been horrified.