"Hi! I'm from the BBC and my name is Caroline Thompson. Sorry to disturb you, but I've popped over to Loamshire Road today to pick up my taxi costs."
"My taxi costs. For the last three months. Split between the 23 houses in your road, it comes to £145.50 each. Cash is good, but I've got a thing to take cards with, if you'd prefer"
"You spent £3,400 of our money on taxis? In three months?"
"I assure you it represents good value - I can make work phone calls from the taxi, you know."
"How did you get here?"
"Um, taxi. He's waiting over there. He's a real sweetie - I've still got sixteen houses to visit"
"You've squandered my entire annual licence fee on your cab fares for one single working day?"
"Oh yes! It's what we do!"