Thursday, 4 November 2010

Prisoners' votes

I don't see why this can't go ahead with minimum disruption to the existing prison regime. Ballot papers would be smuggled to the cons hidden in prison officers' bottoms, and would be exchanged for sexual adventure with the con's missus; completed ballots would be smuggled out by bent solicitors hidden amongst case papers. Wrapped in strong plastic, natch. Candidates could throw bundles of election addresses over the wall into the exercise yard, or use the capacious bottoms of bent screws to smuggle in PAYG mobile phones with ringtones fixed to the 'Red Flag' or something by Elgar. Packets of heroin dyed either Tory Blue, Labour Red or LibDem Yellow could be carried in the cheeks of visiting girlfriends and exchanged during the parting kiss. All in all, no change there to our existing prison regime. 


It'd take a while to complete the exit polls, though. 

3 comments:

Quiet_Man said...

For the life of me I can't see how they'd get to the polling station ;-)

Tarka the Chortler said...

Lordy, that made me laugh and laugh and laugh...
nice one Raedwald

Weekend Yachtsman said...

@Quiet man: Polling station? Why do they need to get the polling stations?

The Religion of Peace solved that problem about three elections ago - just ask anyone in Birmingham.