Wednesday, 1 December 2010

The real meaning of public health

I can think of ten pathologies more basic and urgent than the DoH's and their puppet Lansley's priorities:


1. Rickets - on the upsurge
2. Multi drug resistant TB - A real worry in parts of London
3. Head and body lice - even nice middle class kids get them these days
4. Vermin - rats, mice, foxes, squirrels, cockroaches, bedbugs
5. Sexually transmitted disease - chlamydia is sterilising thousands, HIV is rampant amongst hetero Africans
6. Food hygiene - adulteration
7. Port health - ports and airports, disease screening
8. Birth defects due to first cousin unions
9. Faecal hygiene*
10. Malnutrition


* Always wear gloves on public transport, particularly if you smoke. Viruses like the Winter Vomiting bug are transmitted by people not washing their hands properly after shitting, and transferring minute particles of faecal matter onto handrails, grab bars, door buttons etc. which you then touch, and transfer to your lips if you have a ciggie.   

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Another good reason for car ownership at least any shit then is my own lol


Lfb_uk

Ed P said...

Yes, never, never touch your face near your eyes or mouth when out! I always assume surfaces are infected and wash my hands as soon as I'm inside again (trying not to import bugs on the way to the bathroom).
And how do you open the door to leave a public lavatory? Methods include:
1. wait for someone else to come in, so you can slip through the door without touching the handle. 2. use some tissue as a barrier if you really have to touch it. 3. use your little finger if the above are not possible. Obsessive or just sensible?

Ciaran said...

@Ed P - Obsessive, unless there is something wrong with your immune system.

Anonymous said...

Take it to the Nth degree, you end up like Howard Hughes.
Of course it does worry me, I've recently been in an NHS hospital for an intermediate op', yes I got out as soon as I could (1 night) but most human beings have a pretty good immune system.....just think how a few generations ago, how we used to live - suffused in crap upto our necks, living with animals in very close proximity - mind you in (some parts of) Yorkshire, they still do and no running water on some farms either (electricity only in last 20years too).
Mind you, in the Victorian era, the Hospitals were cleaner.

Ed P said...

Ciaran, I'd rather be obsessive than ill! You might think my suggestions are "over the top", but then I have not "picked up" any stomach bugs for years. And "picked up" is literally what happens in public.

SimonF said...

Never eat nuts or other n

SimonF said...

Never eat nuts or other nibbles left on a bar - how many times have you seen someone walk straight out a trap and out of a toilet without washing their hands? How many times have you seen people walk in to a bar and dig their hands in to the nibbles?

Budgie said...

I blame the schools. When I have been to parents' evenings in the past I have been horrified to see no soap and no towels or dryers in the toilets. When I questioned my children about this, they confirmed this was normal.

English Pensioner said...

I don't use the buses very often, in spite of my free bus pass, except when I need to visit the local hospital where the parking is difficult and very expensive. However, I personally would would rate the handles of supermarket trolleys as being as dangerous, or possibly worse, than handrails in buses. The trouble is that it is difficult to shop with gloves on, and if there is any infection, you get it on the car's door handles and steering wheel.

Anonymous said...

Diversity is our strength, you racist.

Our culture is enriched by the vibrant contribution of Third World immigrants, even if our health is wrecked by their equally vibrant diseases.

Anonymous said...

Diversity is our strength?

What a tosser, Foxtrot Oscar back, to the Socialist worker's cesspit whence you came.

Budgie said...

Anon 22:11, please fix your sarcasm antenna.

Weekend Yachtsman said...

Bugs, public lavatories, gloves, door-handles, for God's sake!

You guys will have no immune systems left at all.

Don't ask me to pay your bills when you all come down with a thousand assorted allergies.

Anonymous said...

@ Anon 22:11

Jesus wept. You are a mental defective, aren't you? In Nazi Germany, they'd have sterilised you to prevent you passing your inferior genes and IQ onto the next generation.

JuliaM said...

"5. Sexually transmitted disease - chlamydia is sterilising thousands..."

Hmmm. How many of those are people we'd want breeding willy-nilly anyway?

Anonymous said...

You have left out the "make sure oldies in hospital who can't feed themselves get assistance lest they starve to death".

As to the public toilets - I knew there was some reason I hated them!

Anonymous said...

Vibrant diseases?
Don't you mean virulent.