Monday, 13 December 2010

Stockholm's first exploding Jihadist

Of course the actual explosions weren't the same as they looked in the catalogue. Taymour Abdel had looked carefully in choosing between the 'Blomster' [des. Stig Lundquist] and 'Bjorkefall' [des. Helmut Farsenn] detonators, and had chosen the 'Blomster' because of the cheerful gingham check pattern, but in the catalogue the bang had looked powerful and solid - in reality it broke up half way through, barely detonating the pack of 'Rattvik' composition in his rucksack. In his final moments, as he watched his intestines covering his 'Snövita' poncho blanket, the damp explosion having barely melted the snow, he doubted whether he'd be able to assemble his 72 'Nysnö' virgins correctly; he always seemed to end up with three Allen keys and bits left over. Around his scattered remains, civic Swedes tutted at the mess on the road. 

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

72 virgins - but no one has ever said whether they are male or female.

MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA

Coney Island

lilith said...

*claps*

Bill said...

I love the British 'connection' rolling across the British MSM. It seems ever single 'terrorist' in recent times has some connection with this country.
Bloody students!!

pjt said...

Someone actually knows where the virgins come from:
http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kr3jmhddC91qzcy5co1_500.jpg

Anonymous said...

Never mind the virgins , what about the benefit funded shagging we've been giving him in his Luton home. Are his dependents to be adopted by the British state? Madness.

JuliaM said...

/applause

Ed P said...

72 white raisins, not virgins. It's only non-muslims that persist in repeating this mis-translation.

DP111 said...

EdP

What about orgasms that last 10,000 years, and pre-pubescent boys with fresh cheeks.

These are the pleasure gardens of allah guaranteed for the mohammedan.