Thursday, 2 December 2010
UK fails to offer big enough bribes to FIFA judges
FIFA judges were said to be 'extremely disappointed' at the UK's goody bag, delivered yesterday. It was reported to have contained a copy of "British Football Heroes" by a G. Brown, a CD single by Victoria Beckham, a tea towel with a picture of a Beefeater on it and a Cadbury's selection box. In contrast, the Russian goody bags were reported to have contained the number to a safety deposit box containing $1m, 300g of finest uncut Columbian marching powder and 30 day-tickets to Montmartre's finest whorehouse. FIFA awarded Russia full points for "a bid that demonstrated a complete understanding of the needs of the world of international soccer".