Thursday, 2 December 2010

UK fails to offer big enough bribes to FIFA judges

FIFA judges were said to be 'extremely disappointed' at the UK's goody bag, delivered yesterday. It was reported to have contained a copy of "British Football Heroes" by a G. Brown, a CD single by Victoria Beckham, a tea towel with a picture of a Beefeater on it and a Cadbury's selection box. In contrast, the Russian goody bags were reported to have contained the number to a safety deposit box containing $1m, 300g of finest uncut Columbian marching powder and 30 day-tickets to Montmartre's finest whorehouse. FIFA awarded Russia full points for "a bid that demonstrated a complete understanding of the needs of the world of international soccer".

9 comments:

Bill Quango MP said...

If only that wasn't true.

Bill Quango MP said...

If only that wasn't true.

Budgie said...

Bill Quango - Mirror Man.

Blue Eyes said...

No, FIFA just looked at how well we cope with an inch of snow.

Weekend Yachtsman said...

What BE said!

Anonymous said...

I'm only sorry and embarassed that we prostituted ourselves in this shabby, dirty, corrupt shirade in the first place.

It would have been far more noble and telling if we had pulled out "pending investigations".

Too late for the whole world methinks...

Coney Island

yokel said...

However it came about, I for one am heartily relieved that one disaster (2012 Olympics) will not be immediately followed by another. My grateful thanks to all who made it impossible for the footie world cup to land up on British shores.

DP111 said...

Why has it become necessary for heads of state, PMs, and other luminaries to jet about begging for an event such as the Olympics or the World Cup, to be hosted in their own nation? Don't they have anything better to do then to run after what is really just a sporting event? Oops, in the case of the EU PMs or heads of state, they certainly do not have anything to do, better or worse.

The trouble is that our leaders in the Europe have nothing to do, as they have ceded the power that was never theirs to cede. Now they run around, being no better then celebrities, looking for major events in the sporting calendar, in which they can preen themselves on the world stage.

If our politicians, including our MPs had not thrown away their power, they would have no need to demean themselves, either in pursuit of celebrity status or the thinking of ways to accumulate money. Having Power is satisfaction enough.

Amela Jones said...

Are you going to do a follow up article? Would love to know what happens next.

Amela
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