Thursday, 25 August 2011

COLREGS post - Timothy Spall

Apols non-nautical types, but I'm chuckling this morning as yachtmaster instructors across the country are no doubt rushing to use last night's episode of 'Timothy Spall: Back at Sea' to illustrate Rule 15. About 23 minutes in.
"Oh! Look at that! I wonder if we'll be able to cross in front of it in time ...."

"It's getting really close now. Maybe I should chicken out and go astern of it?"

21 comments:

Barnacle Bill said...

You just have to shake your head in amazement!

At least he had the sense to stop/slow down, I've seen too many clowns out there who think 3 or 4 cables is a safe distance to pass ahead because they're faster than you and their ARPA tells them so!

I don't even bother to call them up nowadays, just pull the handle back and let them speed off to their BP raising encounter.

George Speller said...

Nothing chicken about going sternward of that big sucker no matter which side you're on.

Weekend Yachtsman said...

You're looking at a red, so yes go round the stern.

Why would you even hesitate?

SimonF said...

Not seen this one yet but based on past episodes nothings surprises me about this guy. Having said that I can't decide if he is competent and playing to the cameras or really is that incompetent. If the latter then the RYA should be sending a stiff letter to the beeb and every Yachtmaster theory instructor given free copies to use in their training.

Laurie Brown said...

Classic! I'll have to catch that programme, never heard of it.

That window (I suppose it is a window on a barge) frames the ship in classic "we're on a collision course" style...

Looks like he took lessons from those idiots racing at Cowes the other week...

Laurie Brown said...

Just watched it. I enjoyed that...

I'll be interested to see how he copes with crossing the Channel to Alderney... He'll definitely need to work out how to deal with tides and transits then.

Bet he doesn't do the Channel Islands.

Gallovidian said...

Sail before steam!

Anonymous said...

The programmes are great fun, and both Spall and his missus are very sympathetic characters. And, by the way, the forties and fifties music is a subtle accompanyment, played at the proper volume, and a huge relief from the ghastly techno-beat stuff that teenage producers usually inflict on us.
TS comes across as a careful, though sometimes bumbling navigator, but I don't think he has put the boat into danger.

meltemian said...

I thought "sail before steam" was outdated now.
I've always worked on the system of;-
Wood gives way to Plastic
Plastic gives way to Steel!
.....and don't mess with the Sandbanks Ferry!!!!!

Laurie Brown said...

@Gallovidian

I think you need to re-visit the colregs (assuming you're a sailor).

Rules 2 & 5 knock that right on the head:

Rule 2:
(a) Nothing in these rules shall exonerate any vessel, or the owner, master or crew thereof, from the consequences of any neglect to comply with these rules or of the neglect of any precautions which may be required by the ordinary practice of seamen, or by the special circumstances of the case.

(b) In construing and complying with these rules due regard shall be had to all dangers of navigation and collision and to any special circumstances, including the limitations of the vessels involved, which may make a departure from these rules necessary to avoid immediate danger.

Rule 5:
Every vessel shall at all times maintain a proper look-out by sight and hearing as well as by all available means appropriate in the prevailing circumstances and conditions so as to make a full appraisal of the situation and or the risk of collision.

In other words, if you are in a vessel, and you hit or place yourself in a position to be hit by another vessel, it's probably your own fault unless you can prove otherwise to the Marine Accident Investigation Branch (MAIB).

Sebastian Weetabix said...

@SimonF: that's a bit harsh. He's inexperienced, that's all, and he hasn't put his vessel in danger. At least he is smart enough to know what he doesn't know. We all started somewhere.

SimonF said...

SW,

We haven't seen him put the boat in danger and I'm sure that even if he had we wouldn't be shown it. I also suspect that in the background someone is making sure he doesn't do anything stupid.

As for inexperienced, this is the second series, I missed the first, and he doesn't appear to be learning anything as he goes along. I wonder if he has done his YM theory course? Because if he hasn't it would be reckless as well.

Anonymous said...

I did some sail training a long time ago on the South Coast - I can't remember the name of the instructor, but I do remember the rhyme he made us all learn.

"Here's the story of Davey May,
who died maintaining his right of way,
He held it fast,
He held it long,
But he's just as dead
As if he'd been wrong"

Sebastian Weetabix said...

@SimonF - didn't see this episode, didn't see the first series... yet such strong opinions! You should write a newspaper column.

Sebastian Weetabix said...

@SimonF - didn't see this episode, didn't see the first series... yet such strong opinions! You should write a newspaper column.

Sebastian Weetabix said...

oops - itchy trigger finger there.

SimonF said...

SW,

No, couldn't be a newspaper columnist as I have some qualifications in the subject.

Laurie Brown said...

@SimonF

Having now caught up with all of the episodes aired so far, I'd say it's odd-on he hasn't done even the DS throry course, and, IMO, he needs to ASAP. In fact, for what he's trying to do, he should do the CS theory course. And pass it...

Then there's this:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2030227/Timothy-Spall-sends-lifeboat-crew-getting-lost-barge.html

SimonF said...

Laurie,

Yes, Day Skipper only qualifies for sailing in known waters and Coastal Skipper, now Yachtmaster Coastal, qualifies for 60m from safe haven so that is the minimum he should do.

Anonymous said...

I only remember "If to green a red appear it is your duty to keep clear". That said unless his barge has a very serious engine (like warp drive!) we are not told about there was no way he could pass ahead of the vessel. Comment was for the camera and not serious. Nice "suspense" for the audience but no real relavence to COLREGS.
TTFN :)

Weekend Yachtsman said...

Anon, the simple thing to remember in a crossing situation is which colour you can see (or can imagine you would see if it were night-time ;-) : if you see a red, it means stop (you are the give-way vessel), if you see a green, it means go, you are the stand-on vessel.

Much easier to remember than the little poyems, imho.

And of course, Rules 2 and 5 ALWAYS apply.