Thursday, 23 February 2012

Commons low life

In the old Colony Room, where we would consume alcohol in truly industrial quantities, fights were unknown. Members were expected to savage each other verbally alone. Now one would expect the drunkest members, and therefore the most combative, to be the least articulate, their fluency dulled by drink. And no doubt this was often the case. But not always. When a member, the director of a well-known advertising agency, stretched his privilege by bringing in three rather unpleasant guests who drank the small fridge dry of champagne and displayed an arrogance towards members warranted to irritate it was too much for a sweating, red-faced, swaying member of modest means with at least four bottles of house red under his belt. He rose majestically on his stool, pointed a Moses like finger at the miscreant and boomed " You phff.. fff..phphff.." The bar froze in anticipation. "Fucking?" came a helpful voice from the back "Fat?" from the rear window "FATuous VULgar IGNORant DREARY little C__T!" he completed and collapsed exhausted back on his stool to ringing cheers. The Ad agency director and his guests slunk away down the stairs a few minutes later. 

With apologies to readers of a gentle disposition.   

7 comments:

cuffleyburgers said...

Raedwald

Like you I deplore violence, but I can't help thinking that I do prefer our "masters" to demonstrate their masculinity by punching each other than by sending our armed forces out to kill and die in some pointless foreign exercise just so that T Blair/D Cameron (delete as applicable) can stand up in parliament and drear "there is no more difficult decision..." bollocks when you know they have a massive erection at the thought of being so powerful

Anonymous said...

No offense taken Raedwald; I'm not that sensitive. This story is, of course, in stark contrast to the Eric Joyce MP debacle which just goes to show how sore losers (or is that just plain "losers") that the Labour party have become.

So what became of the Colony Room? Sounds like a good place to me. I was recently invited into the Chester City Club. A little on the old side for me demographically; and when they said that women could only enter after 17:00 (assumedly to collect their drunken husbands...) I politely declined. I enjoyed my first luncheon visit nonetheless and my minds eye picture of the Colony Room is like this gentlemen's club - the oldest in England, would you believe! Nice old architecture, paintings, etc.

Coney Island

Weekend Yachtsman said...

Fatuous vulgar ignorant etc etc is an excellent description of a certain sort of belligerent numpty leftist type exemplified by the "honourable" member who behaved so badly this week.

None of them knows how to go on.

Henry Wood said...

To Coney Island - I suppose the Colony Room was some sort of gentlemans' club ... some sort ...
LOL! It used to be in Dean Street, Soho, but I believe they are looking for new premises now. It was never the same after Muriel died. I had a drink with that Jeff Bernard there once.

Anonymous said...

To Henry Wood - Ah! So my minds eye picture was wearing its rose-tints then :)

Coney Island

lilith said...

How cool are you Raedwald. The Colony Room eh? So cool.

Raedwald said...

Coney Island - the club's dead now. Michael Wojas, our last barman, popped his clogs and the landlords took the lease back. Still, 1948-2010 wasn't bad for what it was.