Sunday, 27 May 2012

"Bashar needs to call Tony"

"It looks bad this morning, Nigel. Bashar's getting a bad press over the co-laterals, and apart from Putin he's lacking media-friendly support"

"We need to call Tony's people. It will cost Assad a few bob, but Blair's his only real hope now"

"Will he do it?"

"If the price is right. It cost whassisname in Kazakhstan about $13m to get Tony's team onside ..."

"Nazarbayev. And doesn't he boil people alive in butter? The cruellest despot north of the Equator? Liberals shot in the streets and dissidents tortured and mutilated in squalid prisons?"

"That's the fella. Charning chap, actually, and knows his claret; Tony and Alastair hosted him last week. Yes, Bashar needs to call Tony, get Tim Allen on board from Portland. Tony can get Adonis and Purnell to visit Damascus for some 'fact finding' to add a bit of parliamentary weight and Campbell and Peter M can do the media round"

"OK. Let's get Tony and Cherry's whack sorted then. Shall we say $20m for starters?" 

6 comments:

G. Tingey said...

All fellow religious believers I see.
Tony's such a good catholic after all - and suffering is good for the soul.
( Ask any terminal cancer-sufferer in a ctholic country)

Mr Ecks said...

And of course there are no bad atheists. Bliar is a piece of shit and has free-will to tell lies if he chooses. If he professed a belief that John Collier suits are best, exactly how would Bliars crimes be the tailor's fault?.

G. Tingey said...

Correct, but the atheists are not going around, trying to force people into their absence of belief.
Which is one of the resaons communism is a religion, of course.

Anonymous said...

Providing the money's right, yer know, "basically I'm a straight kinda guy!"

Amoral, or immorality.inc call Matrix chambers, or climb into Tony's dreamcoat investment vehicles...er aka charity foundations.

Sebastian Weetabix said...

Tingey, you really are a dozy arsehole. Communism is explicitly an atheist belief system. But because it is responsible for evil deeds it must therefore be a religion? You are guilty of a category error here.

Your persistent anti-Catholic rants remind me of Ian Paisley at his bigoted best. But he at least understood the theology he was opposing. You're simply ignorant.

G. Tingey said...

Weetabix
What do religions do, and what are their caharcteristics?
They persecute all the competing religions - communism, check.
They have unalterable holy books that make (false) predictions for the world - communism, check.
They have factions, hereseies and schisms, whose members are worse that the unbelievers - communism, check.
They kill millions in the name of the abovementioned "holy word" - communism, chack.
Some factions will deny science, usually evolution - communism, chack.
They have a fromula for a "perfect world" (here or hereafter) which humanity MUST bow to, no matter how un-natural - communism, check.
The list is longer, but that'll do for a start.
I walks like a duck, it quacks like a duck ....