Friday, 11 May 2012

The Returners

The Brits are coming. Thousands of them. They're spooked - selling their Spanish retirement homes at panic prices, packing up the straw donkeys and the Sun robes and trekking home. Their expat copies of the Daily Mail will have prepared them for an Islamist Hell paradoxically populated by puking drunk ladettes and chavs, with stalled property prices and a fascination with Pippa Middleton's arse. You can pretty much pick up a Spanish home on your credit card these days - if you've still got one. THIS delightful village house is estimated for auction at €9,000 but will actually sell for about €15,000, about half the bank valuation, in common with nearly all Spanish property.

And what are they going to do when they get here? £10k isn't enough to start a small wine bar in Slough, and their income is hardly likely to afford them the relaxed coffee and aguardiente culture back here. They may have to re-enter the job market; will the aisles of B&Q then be filled with elderly permatanned sun-shade experts? Will they live with their children, or perhaps, having blown the kids' inheritance on the Costa, will their kids have them?

And if the thousands of returners are harbingers of even worse to come in Spain, if coming back to Luton or Kettering broke and with pride shattered is preferable to staying on, how bad is it going to get there?

11 comments:

Weekend Yachtsman said...

Spanish property may be cheap, but the risk is that a few years down the line, the Dons will decide that your planning permission was never valid in the first place, and will send in the bulldozers.

Naturally you'll get no compensation whatever.

No, thanks.

G. Tingey said...

I note the Series III Land-Rover in one of the pictures!

And, of course, if they are used to the daliy nazi for their news, reality is going to different, isn't it?
Or will they cling to theire delusions, in spite of the facts?

BAD news is that it will increase the demand upon state support, because almost all of these Mail-"reading" returners will be over 65, and demanding state support, but of course, THEY aren't "benefit scroungers", perish the thought!

Bertie Dugger said...

G. Tingey BAD news is that it will increase the demand upon state support, because almost all of these Mail-"reading" returners will be over 65, and demanding state support, but of course, THEY aren't "benefit scroungers", perish the thought!

At least they would have probably spent their working life paying into the system before they retired to Spain - some of these people would be more deserving of state support than those who have never done a day's work in their life or only spent five minutes in the country.

Anonymous said...

BANKIA, just part nationalised in Spain, has 'book' distressed property assets of 32bn euros; if as you suggest this is double what the portfolio's actually worth they will need a lot more than the 4bn bailout loan they've had so far

B. Arse-a-Loner said...

I wonder how many of them will be experts in Spanish practices..

Anonymous said...

I went out to look at one or two of these places, the buildings are crap, N' African workers built most of them [they weren't paid sometimes so had no pride in their work, Spanish contractors could care less if were possible]. Buildings had no proper foundations, fittings are crap and the towns are built with nothing else, sometimes no street lighting, miles from shops or life.
Some bought fincas out in the sticks, heaven help them, it gets wet and cold in winter and de-humidifiers a must, all-in-all a hopeless experience for many Brits and my heart goes out to them, they were sold a pup. Mind you if I thought I had to come back to Luton, I take the alternative way out.

Anonymous said...

Greg Tingey: " ..if they are used to the daliy nazi for their news, .."

Silly man.

Greg Tingey: "BAD news is that it will increase the demand upon state support,"

Many already draw a UK pension, are already entitled to NHS 'care'. So, err how will it increase demand upon the state. Oh, that's right it won't!


By the way, the state provision is shite anyway.

G. Tingey said...

Recent quote I heard (referring to the non-existent danger from MMR injections - promoted by the DN/M - and pushed by the now disgraced Wakefield)
"Reading the Daily Mail gives you cancer!" (of the brain)

Anonymous said...

But why would you want to leave Spain? Assumedly, you have paid in full for the property and you have your pension plus your OAP state pension. Your finca may not be worth what you paid for it but that is irrelevent to your standard of living. With prices of everything deflating in Spain, your standard of living will only go up. So back to my original question - why leave?

Coney Island

Anonymous said...

coney island-
you might find yourself very taxed as the the foreigner with the cash income - likely a popular move amongst the dons.

Anonymous said...

coney island-
you might find yourself very taxed as the the foreigner with the cash income - likely a popular move amongst the dons.