Saturday, 28 July 2012

Alright, it was OK

Watching the opening (well, between 9.00 and 10.00 anyway - there's only so much excitement I can take) I must reluctantly abandon curmudgeonly tendencies. It was OK. The real amusement came from the sports commentators, whom the UK media thought clearly best qualified to comment on a historical pageant. They were baffled, confused and out of their depth - there wasn't a ball in sight, the pitch wasn't marked and the performers weren't wearing numbers, which rendered them almost incoherent. But wait! what was this, right at the end? A ball! The sports commentators suddenly came alive, with a depth of insight worthy of Alan Partridge;
Now all sort of tribal dancing and sun worship. But, here's the kicker: no sound. Until a solo contralto voice sings Abide With Me. Effect is strange and powerful. In the background, a heartbeat. Starting to race. Okay. We have now crossed the line into mime. A child gives a man an imaginary spherical object. They play with it! It's wild. I am not too certain what's going on with that just yet.
Man and child stop playing with their imaginary ball and hug. They are sad. Sorry, this is the one bit so far that I haven't quite got. not saying it wasn't good though. Did it represent something to do with the third world and maybe something about the environment? Or colonialism? Not too sure what that bit was about, sorry.
Well, it was an opening ceremony of two halves, anyway. Surprised they missed that. 

The glory is that Britain is probably the only nation in the world that even in highly condensed form takes an hour to expound who we are and why. If Brazil adopts the same approach in 2016, they'll be lucky to run to five minutes; Portuguese matelots, nuts, trans-sexuals and illegal mahogany. Sorry, Brazil. And as for the English-hating Africans who commented - the Mberi brothers, one thinks - "OpeningCeremony segment supposedly showing the people who built modern Britain. But I don't see many immigrants. OK Britain, we see you flaunting your history. Where's the bit in which you invade, loot, kill and plunder?" and "Worst Olympic opening ceremony ever! Trust the Brits!" Well, I doubt yours would run to sixty seconds; near-naked people scratching in the dirt with sticks, people shooting each-other with AK47s. Sorry, Africa. 

Now I can go back to avoiding the whole thing apart from the five-minute daily medal summary.

10 comments:

right_writes said...

I don't understand Raedwald...

Were you in a place where you could not avoid?

cuffleyburgers said...

There were some good bits, but most of it ws cringeingly crap wtf is it with hundreads of kids in pyjamas in hospital beds... jesus.

I was expecting something better, more coherent and more enjoyable for a global audience.

And yes of course the BBC coverage was dismal, but I suppose we expect that, as an arm of the state.

DeeDee99 said...

It was better than I expected.

I thought the Peter Pan reference could have been expanded and more made of British Literature. The NHS bit was overdone to the max and the choice of 60s-to-date music was poor. Where were Madness? Why wasn't London Calling played rather than the awful Sex Pistols.

The Bond/Queenie parachuting in was a good idea.

Marks 7/10.

I'm on lockdown today: the cycle race circles my home so there's no going anywhere much, unless you use Shanksies pony.

Anonymous said...

DP111 wrote..

What knocked out of my socks was that were three hymns

1. Guide Me Oh Thou Great Redeemer Hymn

2. Abide with me

3. Jerusalem.

Was there a 4th?

I really hadn't expected that in the current climate of Britain, that could happen.

Whats going on?

F***W*T TW****R said...

I loved it when the camera foccused on Mrs Windsor and showed here picking her nails and then Brendan foster trying to tell us that she was taking a great interest. She looked bored to tears.

Anonymous said...

It wasn't 'OK' Raedwald and you know it.

A lot of that £27 million went on the 'dark satanic mills', but how many in a worldwide audience of 4 billion understood any of it. And, where was the commentary?

If that wasn't enough the subliminals were deeply political - multiculturalism is deeply political. My forefathers scratched the earth for pennies in rural Dorset and I can assure you there were no blacks or Asians working the fields in pre-industrial England.

Boyle knew what he was doing, and like the rest of them he's a thief.

Steve

Anonymous said...

It was rubbish. I can now see this shit little nation is finished if that is all it's worth.

Bring on the end.

Anon 2 said...

Anon 2: Thanks be to God, I was unable to access the entire cacophony. I watched a few videos afterwards though, and I found them all boring ... to the point of nausea.

My point is that the europhiliac producers seem to consider the infantilisation of the British complete... and they shamed us by presenting that view to the world. Every item was inferior: too big, too long-drawn out, too inaccurate; too irrelevant to sport; and too disconnected from each other fragment. Apart from that, the noisy production was apparently entirely pointless.

Only one gem was buried in the dross: the Corgis and HM. But wait ... even there the script-writers were exercising blank irony.

We should realise the implications of HM's role/non-role in this low-grade revue. It means that the British Head of State is now relegated to a farcical bit part in an inferior, incoherent, childish 'production': on the world stage. Indeed, she was regarded as being so low-profile that her guest, the ioc bozo (who he?), had to introduce her to the world: in froggish no less.

The insult to all of us is outrageous. No wonder HM looked less than thrilled about this disgusting, exorbitant abuse of The British People, our heritage, and our taxes.

This is what we get for letting foreigners rule us.

Ian Hills said...

It was an audio-visual version of the Archers.

Tubb said...

Aidan Burley was so very right. Apart from the first section with the chimneys and depictions of the dark satanic mills the rest was much as I had feared: dreadful dancing, amateurish tat, cringeworthy, predictably PC homage to the NHS and other left-wing icons, and the most tasteless, ghastly choreography accompanying the rather well and touchingly sung 'Abide with me'. The BBC commentary was dire at times, particularly right at the end during the lighting of the cauldron and the fireworks: an intrusive, irritating voice spouting banalities. There were some very, very occasional touches of brilliance but overall it was generally fourth rate. Just like Britain, I suppose, so one has, perhaps, to admit it was appropriate. (And why were all the official announcements in French first and English second? The event was taking place in England after all, and English is understood by many, many more people in the world than French is. I, for one, felt rather insulted by this.)