Sunday, 15 July 2012

Olympicshambles boot boys

Guther, Drayne & Midden
1 Temple Buildings
EC1


Dear Mr Smith

We act for LOCOG in the matter of the protection of the Olympic brands. Our investigators have discovered that you run a jewellers shop in Woodbridge, Suffolk, trading as Smiths Jewellers, and have on display in your window on Market Hill labels with the words 'gold', 'silver', 'rings' 'sporting medals' and 'events'.

I must inform you that the display of such advertisements is contrary to the terms of the London Olympic Games and Paralympic Games Act 2006 (The Act) and I herewith serve notice that all such advertisements bearing all such words be removed forthwith from display. I further give notice that a triangular shaped display of wedding bands, when viewed at a height of 2.1m and an angle of 16deg from a position 1m from the frontage of Kennet's butchers, appears to form the symbol of the International Olympics Committee, a protected symbol under The Act, and must also be removed from display forthwith.

Failure to comply with this notice will result in prosecution and officers authorised by the magistrates court will have the power to break into your premises and seize all such offending materials. There is no appeal process. 

Sincerely Yours


Cuthbert Drayne

11 comments:

Fausty said...

I'm looking forward to the day when someone sues the Olympics occupiers for purloining on of their marketing emblems.

It worries me that the Olympics are being used to acclimatise the populace to the military playing a greater role in civil society.

Today on the Marr show, Jeremy Hunt was just one of many in recent days to ask us to "thank" soldiers who search us at the Olympics.

Very sinister.

http://bit.ly/StqsgI

Rush-is-Right said...

At my local off license (in Cyprus) the guy claims to be a main sponsor of the Olympics.

www.capewines.net

I think he#s joking. He did the same during the last World Cup, and the European Championship too. Nice to see somebody else taking the piss out of this nonsense.

Anonymous said...

This seems so far fetched that part of me is suspicious that's it's an urban myth. Do you have any other references which can prove that this warning was actually given. If it's true then I will circulate the letter but I don't want egg on my face.

Raedwald said...

anon - the letter is satire. The reality isn't - see http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2173335/London-2012-Welcome-Censorship-Olympics.html

Henry Crun said...

Dear Mr. Drayne

Enclosed in this parcel is a long and pointed stick around which I have wrapped your letter.

Take the pointed end and shove it as far up your arse as it will go.

Yours sincerely,

Mr. Smith.

Henry Crun said...

@ Fausty

I'd far rather be searched by one of HM's finest than some jumped up nob in a hi-vis jacket armed with a gestapo complex.

Ian Hills said...

Dear Raedwald

I notice that you have used the word "Olympics" on your blog without permission. So you may be arrested under the Terrorism Act and made to run 20 laps around Dianne Abbott.

Yours Sincerely

Bastard, Bastard and Bastard

The Filthy Engineer said...

Priceless.

SadButMadLad said...

It's be quicker to do 20 laps of the stadium.

G. Tingey said...

Henry Crun
YES
The contrast between the armed police @ Portcullis house - efficient, POLITE, thorough, and helpful, note the latter...
and just about any "private security" shambles is horrifying.
I had the former on Monday, and the latter the next day - the contrast really got my attention.

As for the olympic symbol, just daub a swastika over it - it'd be true, too!

themanwithmanychins said...

"Ian Hills said...
Dear Raedwald

I notice that you have used the word "Olympics" on your blog without permission. So you may be arrested under the Terrorism Act and made to run 20 laps around Dianne Abbott.

Yours Sincerely

Bastard, Bastard and Bastard"

Hahahahahaha, excellent.