Monday, 13 August 2012

School disco ends sports day

The Headmaster writes:-

"I would like to thank all of you who made the school disco last night such a memorable event. At the end of a sports day that saw pupils win success on track, field and rifle range, our own Physics Master, Mr Gavin, took charge of the vinyl and the decks for the disco in Founders' Hall. 

We are obliged to Msr Bricoleur and the Art Department for costuming the Lower VIth in orange origami representations of the HIV virus and choreographed their singing of show tunes on their cycles; Matron for her sterling performance as Jessie James, and Mr Hanratty who returned to the school for the evening from his retirement home to deliver some well-known popular ballads with great panache. Mr Stockhausen from the music department presented his new composition performed by the 2nd XI on bat and pad, accompanied by the massed bugles of the CCF (Pennyworth and Littlejohn Minor) to great acclaim, and I am pleased that the Deputy Head Mr Johnson joined in the spirit of the thing with a display of Kazakh folk dance. Finally, Horace de Vere Clinthorne, who made such a fine Yum Yum in last term's Mikado, led a small group from the Theatre Club dressed as the Beverley Sisters as they performed 'I will survive'. All a credit to the school and our ethos, as I'm sure you will agree.

I'd also like to thank Mrs Worral-Thompson and the kitchen ladies for the evening's splendid and constant supply of amuses-bouches around the theme of 'fifty-seven varieties of cheese', a line that Mr Gecko from the local Albion Mercury promised he would use in his review in next week's edition. 

Finally, the evening did uncover a few shortcomings, particularly with Mr Gavin's Peavey loudspeaker, which is now thirty years old and apparently only goes up to ten, and the school glitterball. None of which dampened the spirits of the evening, but this seems like a good opportunity to launch an appeal for some more state-of-art disco equipment, and I shall be writing to parents shortly.

As we lay-up the school banner in the chapel for another year, you can all be proud of a day that has shown the best of our school and of our nation."       

7 comments:

G. Tingey said...

SPot on

Wall-to-wall lying bollocks in fact!

Just like the shite we've had for the past fortnight

Anonymous said...

Ah, don't tell me - did I really miss all that?

TF.

Anon 2 said...

Brilliant, Raedwald!! Thank you for the laugh....
Which is more than I can say to your devastatingly embarrassing target. It certainly fulfilled all our worst fears. Talk about festering lillies.

Oldrightie said...

I watched a couple of minutes of some old has-been blonde, flat warbler playing opera and a drug addicted, bearded pillock on an ancient bus so spaced out the idiot thought he could sing. Then this morning, Twitter is agog with wonderment at it's brilliance and the BBC urinating in public with ecstasy. (tablets, probably).
I suspect a significant effort has gone in to quelling the embarrassment.

meltemian said...

Crikey R, your event sounds more fun than last night's performance.

cascadian said...

.......such splendid achievements surely come at a price, and the school beadle advises me that fees next year will necessarily be raised.
After careful consideration and in full expectation that the government will enforce a target of 100 free scholarships for state pupils per year we have decided that fees are to be raised by 25% per term, or 66% per year for all our existing pupils, I'm sure you will agree that this is a bargain considering the prestige accruing to the school from such magnificent displays of our post-empire abilities to run the equivalent of an end-of-pier variety show.

Ian Hills said...

St Cakes will never be the same again.....