Saturday, 13 October 2012

Time for UKIP woman

When Hillary was on the campaign trail her old home town was high on the itinerary. Unexpectedly, she encountered an old teenage boyfriend, working on a gas-station forecourt as he had done since leaving school. "Gee Hillary" he commented "Just imagine if you'd married me". "Yup" she replied "You'd now be the 42nd President". Nearer home, Christine Hamilton is a similar, though not equivalent, figure of matriarchal drive. Who could imagine her smarming little worm of a husband achieving anything on his own? She's hideous, terrifying, but by God what a woman. 

The Tory party used to produce them in spades. In my youth they'd host cocktail parties at which we boys awkward in DJs and encumbered with overactive sebacious activity would make embarrassed conversation with farmers' daughters. They regulated a precise social scene that was every bit as much an incentive to party membership as the politics; one could laugh-off the latest stiffie on the mantelpiece, but it was a secret source of joy. Like hens, they had a clear pecking order, and those beneath the Grande Dame delegated to bake meringues or address envelopes were possessive of their own place in the hierarchy. They were the true heart of the Tory party as it was before the local associations were destroyed. 

As Tanya Gold writes in the Guardian, the Tories can't win without women. But they've deserted the party in droves, unimpressed with the metropolitan elite and unsupportive of Central Office blow-ins such as Louise Mensch who have usurped their role in candidate selection. The social scene and the cocktail parties have dried-up. Our DJs hang unused and crushed by moth-balls. Many - such as Dee-Dee, a regular commentator here, I suspect - have drifted towards UKIP. The WI with 208,000 members has a higher membership than any of the three main parties, and the Rotarians have inherited the social side. 

So, I think it's high time for UKIP woman to step forward. It's enduringly true that (1) people like to be organised (2) people like the chance to dress-up (3) single people welcome opportunities to meet in structured social environments (4) networking and establishing hierarchies can only truly be done in person (5) everyone welcomes a stiffie. So get to it, women of UKIP; the festive season is close to hand.


12 comments:

Anonymous said...

With a good woman.....

It's not all good, without Cherie, Tony would still be playing air guitar and mouthing......

"Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a mans soul and faith....

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name.."

Yessiree! a bad woman can be a malign and baleful influence.

lilith said...

It isn't any wonder. I voted Conservative at the last election because the candidate was a local, intelligent, highly educated, hard working young woman with a libertarian bent. She lost by 1,500 votes to the incumbent. She had spent three years campaigning at her own expense and polled over 20,000 votes herself, which in many constituencies is enough to win twice. 10 months later the Conservative Party deselected her as a candidate. She was 8 months pregnant at the time. Why would anyone vote for/work for/throw a shindig in the name of a party that treats their faithful this way?

DeeDee99 said...

Thank you for the encouragement Raedwald.

Although judging from the age profile of my local UKIP Association, I don't think it's quite what they'd be looking for.

Elby said...

@Anon

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman...

formertory said...

I'm so glad I Googled "stiffie on the mantelpiece". I had quite the wrong impression beforehand and was close to concluding that Christine Hamilton is rather racier than I'd thought.

Anonymous said...

Most men think with what they keep in their pants.

Lysistrata said...

Now would that be a deckle-edged stiffie?

FrankS said...

I.ve discovered that stiffie doesn't mean what I thought it meant, but I still can't figure out what it is.
Should have been a young Tory, I suppose...

formertory said...

@anonymous 13.48 - no. Most men wish with what they keep in their pants.

@FrankS - I evidently moved in the wrong circles too; it's a printed card invitation. Sounds rather 1920's-ish to my ear, but there we go.

Raedwald said...

Suffolk in the 1980s ..... the rest of England in the 1920s; yep, sounds about right.

The locals still somewhat gallantly refer to co-habitation as 'courting' (as in 'Ahh, you're a-courtin' Frank Blodger's gal')

Anonymous said...

'a courtin', sounds so much better than. "she's ma bitch innit".

Edward Spalton said...

One of the incentives to the sort of activities you mention was that, after twenty or so years of energetic party-giving, something which many people like doing, cheese & wine etc. etc. etc), there was the prospect of an honour at the end of it - and everybody would sing "He/she's a jolly good fellow". Then "political" honours were abolished and the incentive removed.

At the fringe meeting of the "Better Off Out" group, one of the platform said that Conservative party membership had declined from 2 million to under 200,000 . I am told that there are around 30,000 paid elected posts in the country (plus political nominations to well-paid Quangos etc). So a high proportion of the surviving residue of the party must be office holders or seekers or those aspiring to hanger-on positions (researcher/assistant-to etc). Add in a few friends and relations and that's all there is left of a once considerable party. Now it's just a marketing brand with strict controls on the franchisees.