Sunday, 23 December 2012

Andrew Mitchell is no angel

Chief Whips are not chosen for their sunny and helpful dispositions, humility, gentleness or Christian passivity. Neither are they renowned for their gentility of manner or general air of human forgiveness. The qualities a party leader generally looks for in his Chief Whip are not distant from those displayed by the fictional Malcolm Tucker; he must be an outgoing bastard not afraid to threaten, seize by the testicles, blackmail, bully, hound, plague and torment the party's backbenchers. Whips know which MPs are shagging persons other than their spouses, which are closet inverts, and which have their Dolphin Square apartments rigged with rubber, leather and the paraphernalia of deviant sexual habits. 

Mitchell's efforts at self-rehabilitation this week are therefore becoming a little risible; he's over-egged the wronged innocent to the extent that he's actually lost credibility. That sick-making kiss inflicted upon a young WPC was followed by leaked accounts from 'friends' at his disappointment that Cameron did not fully back him, and now a lachrymose and self-indulgent account in the ST today detailing his martyrdom at the hands of Plod. It's all just too much. 

The likely story is that Mitchell is a foul-mouthed little haemorrhoid with a short fuse who swore and cavilled when refused the use of Downing Street's main gate; this may not have included the words 'pleb' or 'moron', but was undoubtedly sufficiently offensive to upset Plod's own inflated self-importance.

The whole incident could have been dealt with by a Willy calling them both in for a bollocking in the Cabinet Office and that would have been the end of it. Unlike Thatcher, Cameron doesn't have a Willy and a bollocking from Cameron would have all the force of a severe reprimand from Sergeant Wilson, beside it being inappropriate for a PM to do himself. 

The way this thing is going has all the elements of mutually assured destruction.

8 comments:

Blue Eyes said...

Totally agree, this should have been nipped in the bud well before anything went in the official police log.

Bill Quango MP said...

Mostly agree, except for one thing.
Mitchell did apologise. The plod did accept. But the police federation did not accept the apology, wishing to make political hay.
So the issue continued on.

Budgie said...

Plebgate - the gift that keeps on giving.

Couple it with "cast iron" Dave's touted speech on "Europe" (probably about the EU, in fact), which will be unbelievable, and therefore not believed; and the incredibly naff Clegg and his risible possible replacement Huhne, it looks like the (Tory-led) Coalition is in full suicide mode. Early election anyone?

Then what? - Milliebean and Balls-up leading to de-rating and being forced to join the euro in 3 or 4 years time. Thank you Cameron, I don't think.

G. Tingey said...

Agree, but ... NOT THE POINT.

Plod have so, far, successfully fitted-up a cabinet minister.....

Anonymous said...

Spot on Raedwald.

Steve

Anonymous said...

Good comment too much willy though.

Gordon the Fence Post Tortoise said...

MAD indeed

The tortured bleating from Mitchell is indeed over egging it.

The Diplomatic Protection Unit and the gun wallahs are "special forces" no? Not exactly selected for their ability to run scnarios to check for flaws if pear shapedness occurs - it would seem.

Having been on the receiving end of Met firearms handling that would have seen a squaddie disciplined and having seen acquaintances assaulted and fitted up by pissed up officers - the Met needs yet another dose of house cleaning.

I wonder if we're going to see police industrial action - a la Jean Charles de Menezes CO19/SCO19 "strike"

Popcorn required for this I think.

Anonymous said...

When an unstoppable force meets an imovable object...

Coney Island