We all have our dream tickets, and this combination has to be one of mine.
Theresa May is of the background that yeoman-sorts such as myself know well - she's one of us, vicar's daughter, local grammar, state primary and a million miles away from the Etonian County class. She's only been an MP since 1997, having had a proper job previously, combined with local council experience. Above all as Home Secretary, she's dealt with all the crises that hit the Home Office - so often the graveyard for incompetents, as Blunkett found - with unflappable aplomb. Strongly Eurosceptic and in support of Britain's withdrawal from the ECHR, and having rolled-back many of Labour's more lunatic initiatives she nonetheless also earns the grudging respect of the left, who lack anyone remotely of May's capacity themselves.
Farage of course is the bloke next door; you'd not feel awkward borrowing a hose from him. His many positive qualities and ability to engage effortlessly with ordinary people outweigh his failings as a party leader - he needs an environment in which he has license to speak the thoughts of the ordinary man. As May's Prescott (and one really hopes he's capable of keeping his trousers on) he can be a hard-hitter and destroy the amateur Marxian dilettantism of the sixth-form Labour front bench. However, unless there's another by-election he won't be in Parliament by 2015 - unless a new Conservative leader persuades one of the party's giant tortoises in the Commons that it's time to move down the corridor.
Cameron is finished unless he pulls some extraordinary rabbit out of the hat. And Boris needs a place in government - though given his sexual incontinence not in a post from which he can't be sacked without collateral damage when the next story breaks. Exciting times.