Monday, 26 May 2014

Ruritanian Walt to be next EU President

A Ruritanian 'Walt' from Luxembourg with a liking for the dressing-up box is set to be appointed (not elected, of course) the EU's next President. Luxembourg, a tiny corporate low tax haven. has a history of producing unelected officials for the EU who then spend their time preventing other EU members from becoming, er, corporate low tax havens.

In return for his services to corporate tax, Jean-Claude Juncker has so far collected a Grand Cross of the Order of St Henry, Grand Officer of the Legion d'honneur, Grand Cross of the Order of the Star of Romania, Grand Cross of the Royal Norwegian Order of Merit, Grand Cross with Star and Sash of the Order of Merit of the Federal Republic of Germany, Knights Grand Cross of the Order of Merit of the Italian Republic, Grand Decoration with Sash for Services to the Republic of Austria, Holder of the Order of the Three Stars (First Class), Holder of the Order pro merito Melitensi. In support of his candidacy, he addressed the European Heads of Government:-
"I have all my own costumes and uniforms and over 60 pairs of shoes for dressing-up. I offer a full social programme in Brussels with plenty of dressing up and lashings of show tunes. I still have room for some more medals - ahem, Mr Cameron, I appear to have nothing from the UK so far, and from Spain the Order of the Constipated Elephant is one I also covet. In return I won't ask any tough questions and will continue to seek increases in EU budgets, salaries, allowances and expenses for all!"
Mr Juncker in his self-designed Breakfast robes
Mr Juncker's appointment is expected to be announced shortly.  He is expected to launch a new costume of his own design for the occasion. 


Anonymous said...

Schuman was a Luxembourger, a lawyer and obviously one of the most accomplished manipulator of the C20th. Luxembourg breeds that type of cunning shyster, a nation of go betweens and Machiavellian plot-smiths, Juncker is just one more - a demon in the raiment of a sheep.

WTF are we still doing - still in the clutches of these misanthropic control freaks?

Money and power.

john in cheshire said...

In a sane world the likes of Luxembourg would be told to stfu. Instead, they are treated as equal to the likes of us and Mr Juncker is allowed to strut the stage as if he has real power and authority. How risible; how insane. This must be how we destroy ourselves.

Cascadian said...

The nonsensical titles and regalia bestowed kinda reminds me of prince charles, the difference being that Juncker may have held a job at some time.

While chuckles the clown apparently has a full-time staffer at Downing Street which you are not allowed to know what he/she is doing or advocating for. Haven't heard too many complaints.

Having regal personages interfering in constitutional and political decisions seems to be a European fetish.

Anonymous said...

I don't quite see why the imminent accession of a luxemburger to the throne of of the eu empire should be an occasion for gratuitous pot shots at the luxemburger people... aside from their obnoxious political class, a cross we all bear, the average luxemburger is just trying to get on, as they say, with life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Let's not let our quite justifiable hatred and loathing of the eu-crats distort our basic humanity.

Thank you.

Bloke in Italy.

Raedwald said...

BiI - No offence intended towards the many good Burghers of Luxembourg who owe nothing to the EU; may they flourish


plantman said...

Help spread the message. The Fruitcakes are in charge of the bakery - and business is booming so the public obviously like the taste. Time for an emergency EU Directive spelling out how unhealthy they are and banning them straightaway

Demetrius said...

Ahem, could the picture be of Peter Sellers? I recall a film where he dressed up a bit. There are some decent bars and eating places in Lux, and it is not far from the Nurburgring. We might as well be dominated by them as anyone else. Restore the Holy Roman Empire!

G. Tingey said...

Yes, it is obviously Sellers ....
As for the "holy Roman" etc ...
It was neither Holy nor Roman IIRC.