Sunday, 15 June 2014

Blair: Iraq crisis caused by alien lizards

The exiled ex-Prime Minister, who cannot return to the UK because the police cannot guarantee his safety, said today that the crisis in Iraq was nothing at all to do with his unlawful invasion of the country in 2003 but was all the fault of big purple alien lizards. 

Blair claimed the lizards were using secret brain-wave machines to brainwash the world's population, and that the machines needed a special mineral only available in areas of the Middle East. Only he (Blair) had the secret truth that could save humanity but the lizards were blocking his message. 

Blair said that a coalition should have heeded his advice to invade Portugal in 2013 and to distribute special lead hats to the world's population.  


Anonymous said...

Whilst you may jest about this Raedwald; I fear these are exactly the thoughts going thru our glorious former leader's head as he looks at himself in the mirror each day.

It's just a pity he is only allowed to use a safety razor.

Anonymous said...

There he was one of Tony's boys - Ternan on Friday Newsnight, given airtime [why? this bloke is a fuqwit] telling us that the troops would have to be sent back into Iraq, or some such mental diarrhoea drivelling.
And I wondered............can it be, is this the start of another Tony/Cherie propaganda campaign?


Every time I read reports of bomb's exploding in Iraqi Souks and near holy shrines, I always think back and muse on what a good job Tony and his mate did in sorting out Iraq - Oh yeah, "Saddam had to go!" Of course - he would have died of natural causes and all that mass murder - but nothing on this scale............


The Bliar 'Crass' news agency declares that history will be rewritten and thus he confirms to the world - that the Iraq implosion and the ongoing debacle was due to destablization and regime change commenced way back in 2003 - shock and awe and a total bollocks.

You know how it goes Tony, "if you break it - you own it".

mikebravo said...

This new claim by blair is no less credible than all the other dross and wibble that he has been uttering for years.
The bit that I don't understand is, how come the goon is still alive and living on this planet.

Demetrius said...

At last something closer to the truth than Blair.

Anonymous said...

In the Express on Friday Frederick Forsyth gave us this:

'Helpfully, novelist Robert Harris, who used to know Blair well, has described God’s representative on earth as an extreme narcissist and possibly mad.'

Just think about New Labour for a moment. A handful of people, headed by Blair, set out to 'change Britain forever' using mass Third World immigration as the tool.

New Labour signed us up to a treaty that allows unending mass immigration from Europe.

New Labour took us to war, illegally - shoving our Forces into the hornets' nest that is the Middle East.

Our national identity is shot to pieces. Our ability to govern ourselves is three-quarters gone. We now have enemies that half the population has never heard of - and the half that do know are too scared to talk about.

Can you remember Britain before that creature Blair?


Anonymous said...

He was mad,he was bad but now he's both

Anon 2 said...

I agree with Anonymous @ 1810: "he was mad, he was bad, but now he's both"
--- And he was never anything but "dangerous to know."

Goodness - he wasn't even as credible a poet as the otherwise execrable Byron!

Raedwald said...

Blair wrote poetry? Really? I didn't know.

Why am I reminded of Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz?

mikebravo said...

And the proletariat voted for him over and over again. Many would again.
Who is mad?

Anonymous said...

On reflection we were all mad however we weren't bad or dangerous .
Isn't the teacher of the author of vogon poetry to be found at the end of the "old city" where the "lanies " live ? Don't think they would take being compared to Blair well.

Anon 2 said...

No, Raedwald - I didn't mean Blair wrote poetry: rather that, unlike Blair, Byron had a redeeming feature.

Byron, of course, being the earlier "Mad, bad, and dangerous to know"--according to Lady Caroline Lamb, it is generally claimed.

Anonymous said...

"The exiled ex-Prime Minister, who cannot return to the UK because the police cannot guarantee his safety,"

Please, please, please, tell me this is true.

Anonymous said...

Steve @ 16:34. Thank you for writing exactly what I have been thinking for ages. The damage that NuLiebore did headed up by Bliar to this country, is manifest. The problem is, however, Labour may be voted back in. Better we pray for Scottish independence!

Coney Island

Anonymous said...

Coney Island @ 13:26.

If Labour were returned to power next year it'll be the last time they govern this country.

Some of us, quite a few actually, are willing to lay down our lives in order to regain our homeland.

The Age of Treason will end and we'll do the ending, or die trying.


Budgie said...

Coney island, if the Scots vote to secede from the UK in September, there is still planned to be a general election in May 2015 which will include Scotland and consequently Scottish MPs at Westminster.

In these circumstances Scotland will have its cake and eat it - setting up their own country whilst ruining the UK with the Scottish Labour MPs boosting Ed Loonyband.

Gordon the Fence Post Tortoise said...

Iraq / Syria is nothing a few diversity coordinators and community liaison councillors couldn't sort out ... can we send some now? I mean right now... please.

I'm happy to put Tone and his good lady wife in charge (on local per diem) as long as they live on the job....

andy said...

I pray and live in hope that one day Tony Blair gets kidnapped by Hamas or Hezbollah or Al-Qaida or "insert Islamic terror group of choice here...." and spends 20 years chained to a wall in some dingy cellar somewhere.