Sunday, 22 June 2014
Not all Owls are Labour
I think I should make it clear that not all Owls support Labour. Many of us have severe reservations about areas of labour policy, including
1. Hunting. Hunting small mammals is pretty much fundamental to we Owls, and we would like to see our traditional rights preserved.
2. Immigration. British barns for British Strigidae! Too many of our barns, hollow trees and other roosts are being occupied by immigrants, including Labour's open-sky policy for Green Parakeets. Canada geese destroy shrew and vole habitats, leaving our children hungry.
3. Equality. All Owls are not equal. Labour policies that would compel cock and hen owls to carry the same markings, spend equal time incubating eggs and destroy our traditional pair-bonding arrangements are dangerous and un-natural. Despite what Mr Tatchell may imagine, there are no gay owls.
4. The minimum vole policy. Labour's proposals to regulate a minimum level of access to voles across the country, despite regional and geographic differences in habitat and populations, are wholly economically inefficient and unsustainable.
Frankly, many of us are deeply sceptical about Labour's motives. Thank you for your attention."