Wednesday, 23 July 2014

Kermits agree to tut at Oligarchs

In an unprecedented hardening of sanctions against Russia, France has agreed that mayors may tut at visiting Russian Oligarchs, but has asked that this should be 'not very loudly'. Business owners in the South of France, temporary home to many wealthy oligarchs in the Summer months, were aghast at the extent of the sanctions; a spokesman said
"Our Russian guests spend millions on handbags and designer bling and keep most of the shops on the Rue d'Antibes open; how secure are they going to feel if they know that Monsieur the Mayor may pop out and 'tut' at them? These measures will hit ordinary French people hard" 
Shares in LVMH fell again today on speculation that the tutting may affect the export of the most expensive and tasteless champagne brands and that sales to Russia will be hit badly. "The oligarchs are amongst the few people in the world prepared to pay $10,000 a bottle for third-rate fizz so long as the bottle is pink and has Swarovski crystals on it" said a spokesman for Louis Roederer. 

Mr Hollande was still rejecting calls today for the tut to be downgraded to a frown. "France is committed to strong and meaningful sanctions" he said "and a frown just doesn't have the same impact as a tut".

5 comments:

JohnM said...

:o)

(Tut, Tut, Tut - naughty boy)

Mike Spilligan said...

Having been involved in commercial negotiations with the French over about ten years (now long behind me) I can say that one can do or propose almost anything - and usually in a friendly atmosphere - providing it doesn't hit them in the pocket.

mikebravo said...

Mr Sarkozy was asked for his reaction to the possibility of tutting at oligarchs and replied with a Gallic shrug.

Bloke In Italy said...

Rather well observed Radders!

John M said...

Meanwhile France continues to deliver two warships to Putin and merely "shrug" at the suggestion that they shouldn't...