Monday, 15 September 2014

Salmond: Independent Scotland will drive on the right

As the Indyref debate heats up in the final days, Alex Salmond has been saving a few big-ticket announcements for the final days - including the bombshell delivered at this afternoon's press conference that Scotland would convert to driving on the right by 2016. 

He claimed this would give Scotland access to standard car models manufactured for Europe at a massive saving; his economics team claimed the switch would cut €3bn from consumer costs over the following five years. Only England, he claimed, was daft enough to need a different and more expensive car than that used  everywhere else in Europe.

He put the cost of changing Scotland's road system as 'peanuts' - "it's a just a few pots of white paint and moving some signs about"

Early polling research revealed that 49% of Scots voters believed this without question.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Joy, oh Joy. Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase 'border clashes'.

Apparently the likes of Tesco are at last coming clean about how much the English subsidise the cost of food in Scotland. It seems the high distribution costs of delivering food in Scotland are being absorbed by the wallets of the supermarket's English customers . Quelle surprise!

Anonymous said...

Two words:

road

and

camber

Steve

Nigel Sedgwick said...

Alex Salmond is entirely right in this; it will be a great boost to the new Scottish economy, everyone being encouraged to buy a new car. And, of course, the old ones can be sold to England, improving the export statistics.

[Aside: what's that tugging down below?]

Best regards

Anonymous said...

I heard it say that the move to driving on the right in Scotland would be a phased approach starting with lorries over 20 tonnes and a month later, all other vehicles.

Well lets face it; it's gonna be a car crash anyway!

Coney Island

Anonymous said...

I won't believe this until I hear and see Salmond say it. Surely even he would not propose such a stupid thing.

John M said...

if 49% of Scots really believed that then it is clear that those 49% must be clinically retarded.

But you have to hand it to him, Salmond knows how to get the "dumb-as-my-arse" vote out in droves doesn't he. He understands his people.

I just hope they actually hunt Salmond down when they finally realise what Salmond's economic vision is going to mean in reality. Do they have Wicker Men in Scotland?

Ian Hills said...

I actually believed you for a minute, you lying git.

Raedwald said...

Ian

Humble apols - I did tag it 'whimsy'

Mind you, that's not to say he won't actually announce it ....

Woodsy42 said...

He obviously doen't believe anyone should buy a Japanese car then?

Anonymous said...

Will King Al turn Princes Street into a Zil lane?


Edinburgh castle is new Kremlin

and 2 weeks nat hols to celebrate Bannockburn,

Loch Ness monster to be moved to Faslane to act as replacement for nuclear subs,

Sassenach tax to be 12 million Scottish Levs p/a.

Windmills to power all bothies and crofts only in times of great wind, highlands to be repopulated with McDonalds.

Paul MacCartney to be flogged and sent packing - back to scouseland.

Sean Connery to be turned into stone and becomes a national monument, St. Andrews only Scottish pro's allowed to win Fife and Nairn 4 ball-better ball rabbits handicap open championship.
Claymore's to be issued to all dancing men. Cabers to tossers. All entrants to wear compulsory jockstraps.

Annual blue cross bollocks film festival - sorry Mel Gibson appreciation society only.

Hoots mon, di ya no ken? ital be graayt.

Mark said...

Left or right. It doesn't matter if you're driving over a cliff

Budgie said...

Wiki: "about 65% of the world's population live in countries with right-hand traffic and 35% in countries with left-hand traffic."