Friday, 21 November 2014

Mrs Miliband bans England flag

Scene: Around the oiled Swedish antique pine breakfast table at Dartmouth Park, North London, over the morning Muesli ...
"Ed - Go and take that bloody flag down! That's the fifth call I've had this morning from the neighbours!"

"Justine, please ... I've just told all our MPs that they must all have England flags flying on their houses by the weekend - how can I opt out?"

"I don't care - this is bloody Dartmouth Park; it's bad enough that the two mill price tag round here had just brought all the neighbours within the bloody Mansion tax band; I mean, I can't show my face at the Montessori nursery without eyebrows being raised, and someone actually tutted at me in the Croissant queue yesterday, and now you want to devalue the neighbourhood with ... that ....tacky ....rag!"

"Well, if it takes the value under two mill just by flying a flag, they shouldn't complain, should they?"

"Ed! Go and take it down! Now!"

"Justine, you know you're always saying how the Prius isn't big enough for us anymore? How would you feel about something larger? With room for a Biedermeier commode in the back? In white?"

5 comments:

Cascadian said...

"Then raise the scarlet standard high.
Within its shade we'll live and die,
Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer,
We'll keep the red flag flying here"

Only the hammer and sickle is good enough Ed and I suspect Justine.

rapscallion said...

Sometimes words fail me. There is no word in our fine language that describes the sheer loathing and hatred I feel for those who hate this blessed land.

Budgie said...

Labour would dearly like to elect another people.

mikebravo said...

But Ed says his heart goes all aflutter when he sees the English flag. Patriotism wells in his veins and all that.
He can't be lying can he?

anon 2 said...

mikebravo @14:15
He can't be lying can he?
'course not. His family are from some communist country in euroland - and he shares their love of what they want this country to be. Presumably that's why they brought him up here.