The Telegraph scores a neat coup this morning with the publication of Labour's secret anti-UKIP strategy document. Labour's core electoral strategy on immigration - to pretend it doesn't exist - is on a par with anything ever conceived by Monty Python and no doubt the news media will in due course serve us some farcical fare of Labour candidates talking to constituents without ever hearing points they may make about immigration.
What is really telling however is the arcane and alien language in which the document is written. Labour recognises that working class voters feel "that the party
has left them behind in pursuit of better-educated, middle-class,
white-collar voters". White collar? The last time I heard the distinction made between white collar and blue collar must have been forty years ago, and it must surely be meaningless to anyone under forty, unless 'white collar workers' is some secret new code for workers in the public sector such as police officers and Council officials who wear white uniform shirts. It takes me back to reporters standing outside Transport House and union capi going into Number Ten and suggests that the author doesn't quite inhabit the same planet as the rest of us.
The same with 'coalfield communities'. Do they actually mean ex-mining areas? There are some lovely bits of Kent sitting on top of unmined coal deposits, so perhaps they mean constituencies with coal under 'em. Or perhaps the coal seams need to be exposed at the surface for these 'coalfield communities' to rub their faces with coal dust and perform clog dances around a capitalist tied to a head wheel? Whoever wrote this stuff needs to change their medication.
But then Miliband and his cronies do inhabit a different planet to that of the rest of us, as this document clearly demonstrates. I look forward to further pre-election advice from Labour HQ - perhaps on the wearing of flat caps, or on issuing Party whippets to PPCs. This is going to be fun.