The Health and Care Professions Council tells us that as at 5th January 2015 England alone (not including Wales, Scotland or Northern Ireland) had 87,132 registered social workers dedicated to "promoting social change, problem solving in human relationships and the empowerment and liberation of people to enhance well-being"
As at 1st July 2014, Parliament recorded that the strength of the UK Regular Army stood at 89,480 personnel. Dedicated to hardship, risk, gruelling mental and physical demands and, if called upon, to offer their lives in defence of ours.
The average salary for a qualified social worker (Reed.co.uk) is £45,180. A Level 4 Private currently earns £20,318.
The Telegraph reports that the MoD are planning to cut army strength back to 60,000 personnel from later this year.
Right then. So next time we need to guard Heathrow Airport we'll send a minibus of social workers to use their 'problem solving in human relationship' skills to persuade the terrorists not to blow the aircraft up.
Absolutely nothing that Tom Sharpe ever wrote could rival the absurdity of the reality of Britain today.