The Bloody Butcher of Baghdad emerged from his crypt today to warn Labour that unless they learn to lie properly to the electorate they won't win power. Blair pointed to his own record of mendacity, deception, distortion and omission as an example of how to succeed in gulling the voters.
"Just look what we achieved" Blair said "We destroyed the last vestige of rebellion and free-thinking among the remnants of the English working class, closed half the county's pubs to limit sedition, robbed traditional community identity of its strength by dilution and had nearly half the population financially dependant on the State. Until Gordon tried to be clever and wrecked the bloody economy. You don't get there by not being able to lie effectively"
Commentators speculated that Bloody Blair is running scared of Labour picking a leader who won't protect him from prosecution once the Chilcot inquiry is published - now expected sometime in 2021, just after the next election.