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Saturday, 12 March 2016

A Student guide to appropriate fancy-dress

Your Chairperson Writes:-

After Pembroke cancelled an 'Around the World in 80 days' themed fancy dress event on the grounds that dressing-up may constitute cultural appropriation, we offer our student members this guide to what is and is not permitted in the Safe Space.

Vicars and tarts - Clerical costume will be offensive to the many victims of child sex abuse in the college, and to parody the serious societal function of sex workers either devalues their calling or disregards the dangers of exploitation. Unacceptable.
Cowboys, Firemen, Policemen, Construction Workers, Native Americans - Any event that includes an assortment of persons in such costumes will be interpreted as a homophobic parody of historical social reformers YMCA. Unacceptable.
Central and South American costume -  Whilst ponchos and straw hats have hitherto been considered an easy costume option for poor students, it must be remembered that this constitutes cultural appropriation and perpetuates the real poverty and victim status of everyone living in central and south America. Unacceptable
Nuns - Can be easily mistaken for a parody of our Islamist sisters in Hijabic dress, and this particularly offensive when worn with racy underwear or stockings and suspenders. Also students smoking and drinking alcohol in dress that could be misconstrued as Islamist is clearly not acceptable.
Dracula, vampiric costume - Contrary to historical distortion, Vlad the Impaler was a kind and considerate ruler much concerned with the advancement of the Romanian people, for whom the Victorian distortion of vampirism remains deeply offensive. Unacceptable.
Top Gun / military uniform - Although many young men imagine they look attractive in dress whites, they are perpetuating a myth of US military hegemony. Remember, such men bomb hospitals. Unacceptable. 
Bollywood - The recent popularity of Bollywood costumes for both men and young women with flat stomachs belies the unacceptable cultural appropriation involved. Only those of a Brahmin caste Hindu origin may wear such costume. 
Native African Dress - For all those imagining they can attend fancy dress events in their pyjamas as 'Nigerian Princes', please be aware that this is unacceptable cultural appropriation. 
Animal costumes -  Animal costumes, including face-painting, disrespects the relationship we should have with non-human inhabitants of our planet, projects inappropriate power signals and devalues animal rights. Unacceptable.

Students will therefore realise that only full evening dress (tailcoat, stiff shirt, Marcella westcot and white tie) for men and evening gowns for women now constitute acceptable fancy dress

Sam Duggs
Chairperson, Safe Space Union.


Anonymous said...

Sorry Radders you are going to have to add Evening Dress to your banned list. As the wearing of it by plebs is offensive to us Toffs!

F***W*T TW****R said...

Sending this to the N.U.S. Funny as. Perhaps I'll send it to Feminazi's as well.

Demetrius said...

Does this mean we cannot go as Prince Albert and Queen Victoria?

Anonymous said...

Most (all?) students are twats. Many of them leave behind the twattishness that is an essential part of growing up. Some do not. Those whose twattishness was merely stupidity become Tory MPs, but those whose become fully paid-up members of vile and obnoxious twatdom become left-wing agitators, Corbynites, men of Straw, Blairites, trade union officials etc.

Anonymous said...

Eat your heart out Richard Littlejohn ;)


Cascadian said...

Going to a fancy dress event dressed as the camoron would invite a high risk of battery.

Anonymous said...

I cant believe you haven't considered the feelings of otherkin in you thoughts on animal costumes. Monster.

rapscallion said...

Most amusing Radders. The only issue with this is that it will no doubt be copied and actually used by some right on, green feminazi.

How pitiful that we have sunk to this level

Anonymous said...

What a surprise. I thought that students would decide that the only acceptable dress was absolute nudity, or would that upset committed nudists

Dr Evil said...

The sad thing is that this little parody could indeed be true. But dressing up as toffs is surely unacceptably poorist.