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Thursday, 14 July 2016

The Guardian - the gift that goes on giving

Oh I do love the post-referendum Guardian! Reading Polly Toynbee's howls of pain is like watching some remote Rich Bitch whose toy dog has died; not only does she carry its fluffy little corpse around in her handbag, but regularly opens the bag to verify the thing is dead, and to let forth a fresh screech.

The editorial staff have also completely lost touch with reality; convincing their own snowflake minds that Brexit will happen seems to have robbed them of all other judgement. Today we have, for example, "Why do so many people choose dull 'death row' meals?" - can't you just imagine the editorial conference ...
"Well, I mean, they can order anything but all they want is fried chicken and white gravy. What's white gravy, anyway? If I was going to be executed next day I'd want Quinoa, Pomegranate salad with Seaweed and Vegan cheese, prolly"

"Well, why don't we get Ottolenghi to put together some death row recipes? Meals that can be prepared in an ordinary prison kitchen? Low fat, low sugar, low ees"

"Yah! And we could get the Healthy Living team to advise on what foods to avoid if, erm, you're going to be executed" 

"Why don't we put Jamie in a Texan death-house kitchen for six months, with, you know, footage of shared meals with the guards and executioners and people about to be killed sharing some organic local produce?"
I'd say you couldn't make it up, but as far as the PTSD Guardian goes, you clearly can ...


Poisonedchalice said...

Its quite simple R. They have merely run out of editorial. They were a one-trick pony; and that pony has just shuffled off to pastures in the sky.

Coney Island

mikebravo said...

How about Polly Toynbee's heart, wrapped in bacon and fried in butter. Or perhaps her brain flambeed a la Hanibal Lecter.

I could do either myself if Gordon was busy!

rapscallion said...


Really! :-)

Why would you want to do such a thing? Anything that touched for what passes for a heart or an addled brain (left side only) would be forever contaminated.
Call me Mr Picky, but I'll give it a miss this time.

All and all, it's sooooo good to watch Toynbee wailing. Made voting out all that more worthwhile.

Anonymous said...

Pigs in shite, eat all, sup all and squeak shite and don't mind......brown shite, equality shite, Multiculti shite, ethically sourced Kebab shite, cleaning done on the cheap shite - no questions for cash luv, shite!.......... it's all the same to pigs.

Hear 'em squeal in a frenzy though, when the trough is being removed!

Anonymous said...

Nothing could top David Dimblebore's expression when he had to announce "We're out!" - except, perhaps, his expression when he realised that the Tories had won the last GE :)

Ottolenghi? Isn't he - well -sooo Spring '16?

I wonder if condemned prisoners are still allowed a cigarette before they die - bet the bastards don't let them because of the 'dangers' of SHS.


Michael said...

I've been through so many good days such as the last few, and Scrobs is feeling satisfied - and justified - in getting where we are today.

Well done Raeders; as required reading each day, I enjoy your proper insight, rather that the pap served up by most of the press.

Dioclese said...

People actually READ the Grauniad???

anon 2 said...

@Dioclese - People used to read something called "The Manchester Guardian" back when I were a lass, and my school-teachers recommended it! Then I noticed the change of name -- travellers read it on the 62 Bus: while passing through a recently colonised Moss Side, towards that city! And that was all before abolition of the British death penalty.

The present version does have American readers, though. 'Intellectual' types to boot, some of whom share Toynbee's anguish about destruction of the Britain THEY know and love!!!!! I guess Raedders is right about PTSD, then.

Beware though. I've heard some express hope that their trojans could earn them a stay on this latter-day sentence ....

DeeDee99 said...

Anything to distract themselves from the clusterfcuk going on in the Labour Party.