Thursday, 21 July 2016

Who is Owen Smith?

Owen Smith is one of the new breed of Labour politicians who are utterly devoid of humour, personality, character, interest or individuality. It was thought in the last decade that only politicians so bland, so tasteless, so mediocre and so forgettable would have a chance of taking and holding the centre ground in a miracle process called 'triangulation'. The thinking has all been blown apart by UKIP and the referendum result, but the MPs remain.  

The new MPs don't actually have individual, personal life histories but share a common background with some variations. Here therefore is Smith's biography;

Born: On some date between 1968 and 1978, in one of the Home Counties 
Parents: Father a Quantity Surveyor / Health Service manager / Actuary / Local Government officer, mother a Dental technician / Librarian / Pension administrator (delete as appropriate)
Education: A Comprehensive / Secondary Modern in Hampshire / Sussex / Kent (delete as appropriate) and a 2:1 in Geography and History / Art and French / Geography and French / French and History from the University of Brighton / Tonbridge / Chelmsford / Guildford (delete as appropriate)
Early Career:Trainee publicist / cub reporter / European officer / union researcher for international pharma / regional paper / Trade association / Union (delete as appropriate)
SPAD: Became SPAD at age of 26 / 27 / 28 / 29 (delete as appropriate)
Parliament: Entered Parliament in 2010 / 2015 representing Llandrindod Wells / Liverpool East / Barnsley West / Hull Central (delete as appropriate)
Ministerial posts: Shadow junior health minister from 14.20 on 7th July 2016 to 18.35 on 8th July 2016 ...

24 comments:

mikebravo said...

Which is why Corbyn will slaughter him in theirelection. The Labour party members want Stilton and the MP's want cheese Primula!

mikebravo said...

I also appear to be becoming illiterate!

DeeDee99 said...

But he's normal ...... or so he thinks.

Poisonedchalice said...

You paint far too interesting a picture there R.

proglodyte said...

He's a passionate Remainer (unlike JC), which probably won't go down too well in much of Labour heartlands.

proglodyte said...

Speaking of Brexit...

http://tinyurl.com/zokodc4

Anonymous said...

This specious idea, that by some miracle if the messenger changes faces, there will be a profound attitude shift in what selection British voters will make, is to say the least deluded beyond most people's comprehension.

Soft lavs, old lavs, Zanulavs, they're all splinters [sphincters] of the extreme left wing - like Jack Straw he was a shape shifter nonpareil - any hole in a storm - eh Jackie boy?......Bolshies, Trots, SWP/Momentum, Common Purpose, UNITE; they all hate Britain and white Britons with a vehemence which borders on pathological. Pathological hatred begets thus, the lavs ally with anti British movements across the world and their representatives, any nutter will do - Sadiq Khan for one. This is not new, the Cambridge Five were all Russia mad and abhorred, disdained and railed against Britons, Britain to a man and the Cambridge Five weren't working class - either, in every way like the current tossers which haunt the opposition front bench, just less brain power.

The feeling is mutual.

We all say, FUCK OFF!! to the lav party, may you all end up in oblivion and a hell only you lot could conjure up - those who live by the sword, and those who wish ill on their own kindred deserve, not an ounce of pity but well earn: all of our opprobrium.

Anonymous said...

Surely the degree should have been a 'Desmond' in PPE?

Dioclese said...

"utterly devoid of humour, personality, character, interest or individuality"?
Of course he is. He's Welsh!

Anonymous said...

Not being a supporter I'm finding this squabble highly entertaining and hope Corbyn wins the leadership. If he does the blairites will have shown themselves out of sync with both their leadership and their electorate, leaving them with only one honourable course, that is to resign. Oops almost forgot there, they are politicians after all, so that's not going to happen.

Anonymous said...

Raedwald said:

'Owen Smith is one of the new breed of Labour politicians who are utterly devoid of humour, personality, character, interest or individuality.'

Raedwald is right, that description could easily fit Stephen Kinnock, or Will Straw. When mikebravo (must be a callsign) mentioned 'Primula' it triggered a memory: once upon a time I was a lefty. Indeed I shook hands with Dawn Primarolo at the annual Martyr's march in Tolpuddle (1988). Twelve years later, after a short spell in higher education, I went apolitical. I hate politicians.

Steve

Anonymous said...

Lordy Steve, I remember Dawn Primula...

Amongst patronising career politicians, that one was surely at the top of the premier league.

Thanks for the memory... Not.

right-writes

Michael said...

I thought you'd mistaken him from that funny little Owen bloke who gets paid by the Guardian!

There I was, wondering why a sane, interesting blogger like you would waste space on a little boy's frustrations, and suddenly it came to me, it's not the same kid!

Well bugger me! There are two of this particular silly race out there now, and both seem to be somewhat delusional! Maybe they'll learn one day.

Funny how political morons dream isn't it.

Anonymous said...

Cripes on a bike, I hate to point this out [how the fuck do I know?...God help me!....shi-ite or sunni like the lavs they'll all fundo nutters].....

Guardian snotty = owen jones, lav scum party nominee = owen smith - but yeah same sort of wankerati, opinionated girls blousies, ill educated [ref; Critical theorists, Cultural Marxism and post modern indoctrination] fuqwits who've never done a real days work in their lives. Overpaid, overrated, over loud twats owen and owen and attempting to represent the 'working class' - actually read the skivers [Union convenors], tossers [perma students and guardian readers, luvvies, the bbc, Quislington public sector aristocracy et al] and general Socialist voting flotsam washed up on these shores.

It's a cross, Fabian, barking at the moon and celtic mongrels.

owen jones, owen smith are, Socialist wastrels their ilk have cost the UK, its people, our nation and thus society £Trillions.

mikebravo said...

Anonymous @ 16:30.

Excellent rant sir!

My only disagreement is that the useless wasters who vote for the aforementioned socialist tossers are heavily implicated in the setting up of our current idocracy.

I do wonder whether they are just too thick to get it, or are merely lazy bastards.

TrT said...

Not as good as your explanation of barristers fees but pretty good all the same :) :) :)

Cascadian said...

University of Chelmsford......ohhh my lord! I thought Raedwald must have made that up, but there it is. The graduates must be first class.

Bad enough that the pretend universities of Essex and East Anglia existed.

I am now googling my former primary and junior schools to determine which part of the thrusting tertiary ejucation system they have affiliated.

Chelmsford University-what larks.

TrT said...

Just tried Oona King, it really works!

Anonymous said...

UEA (east anglia) is a prime hotbed of global warmers.

wiggiatlarge said...

Hotbed of global warmists, indeed, but please don't forget the UEAs other great contribution to the welfare of man the banning of Sombreros...

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/sep/29/uea-student-union-bans-racist-sombreros

mikebravo said...

wiggiatlarge.

Hilarious article.

Pedant picking a word fight with a nit picker.

They will disappear up their own backsides eventually. Oops, sorry. Was that a homophobic comment?

Gordon the Fence Post Tortoise said...

To answer the post title - according to Rod Liddle on Radio 4 today - he's a clueless twat.

Anonymous said...

Ah, good old Rod, "a clueless twat" !

Small wonder that Mr. Liddle had to leave the BBC, his fearless and frank honesty would have been too much to take at delusion central Shepherd's Bush.

I salute Rod Liddle, he is a jewel in the world of honest journalism - and there ain't many left - on the left and I don't care whether people are of the left wing persuasion because if they are patriots and men of probity who speak their minds, then, left or right it matters not to me.

I must, we all should rise above sectarian politics, the result of the referendum and 17.4 million souls voted for the truth and freedom. Thus, united, together against the political elite, it [the Westminster claque] can, it will be vanquished. Stuff to, the Westminster stitch-up, then, England can reset itself.
Reset indeed and justice realigned to be equitable for all and therefore, all discrimination laws to be rescinded particularly equality diktats and Bliar's hateful HRA, absolutely we must cleanse ourselves of the ECHR. Bin the ECHR because, until we do that, the divisiveness of multiculti doctrine will despoil and rend the nation.
Then, we'll go after the corporate blob and the Tories, it's way past time to put down those curs.

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