Owen Smith is one of the new breed of Labour politicians who are utterly devoid of humour, personality, character, interest or individuality. It was thought in the last decade that only politicians so bland, so tasteless, so mediocre and so forgettable would have a chance of taking and holding the centre ground in a miracle process called 'triangulation'. The thinking has all been blown apart by UKIP and the referendum result, but the MPs remain.
The new MPs don't actually have individual, personal life histories but share a common background with some variations. Here therefore is Smith's biography;
Born: On some date between 1968 and 1978, in one of the Home Counties
Parents: Father a Quantity Surveyor / Health Service manager / Actuary / Local Government officer, mother a Dental technician / Librarian / Pension administrator (delete as appropriate)
Education: A Comprehensive / Secondary Modern in Hampshire / Sussex / Kent (delete as appropriate) and a 2:1 in Geography and History / Art and French / Geography and French / French and History from the University of Brighton / Tonbridge / Chelmsford / Guildford (delete as appropriate)
Early Career:Trainee publicist / cub reporter / European officer / union researcher for international pharma / regional paper / Trade association / Union (delete as appropriate)
SPAD: Became SPAD at age of 26 / 27 / 28 / 29 (delete as appropriate)
Parliament: Entered Parliament in 2010 / 2015 representing Llandrindod Wells / Liverpool East / Barnsley West / Hull Central (delete as appropriate)
Ministerial posts: Shadow junior health minister from 14.20 on 7th July 2016 to 18.35 on 8th July 2016 ...