Wednesday, 21 September 2016

Dave's 70,000 imaginary friends exposed

Poor Cameron. No sooner has he left office than all his closest chums have been turfed out, his chum-friendly policies have been reversed and now a series of Commons committees are publishing reports criticising his record

The latest, from the Defence committee, catalogues Dave's massive fails over Syria. First, it challenged him to identify the 70,000 chums he claimed to have in Syria. The poor chap from the MoD left to answer for him whilst he enjoys a fourth Summer holiday was flummoxed. Perhaps the figure was a little high. And there must be moderate rebels, mustn't there? Stands to reason. No, we don't know who any of them are. 

The Committee was also critical of the RAF's air campaign, Operation Overwhelming Victory. Air Vice Marshal Crispin Undercarriage stated that our three aircraft in theatre has done 'splendidly', having been in flying condition at least 50% of the time, and only 37 similar aircraft in the UK that had been cannibalised for parts were now unflyable. We have attacked 26 targets in the past year, and scored the highest number of hits against man-propelled biwheeled attack vehicles (MAPBAVS), using our unique Very Small Missiles that cost only half a mill a pop. He disclosed that our three pilots were managed by just six Air Commodores and AVMs and a staff of seventy in the UK and praised the efficiency of the operation. It would have been better, he admitted, had we been able to co-ordinate with friendly forces on the ground, but the Prime Minister had declined to identify any of his 70,000 chums on security grounds. 

A spokesperson for the ex Prime Minister declined to address specific points, saying "Mr Cameron is very busy right now with a Strawberry Mivvie. We'll get back to you."


Poisonedchalice said...

I had quite forgotten about Macaroon's imaginary friends; that you for reminding me. But I guess that's what politicians hope for - that we forget the mental buffoonery leading to utterly ridiculous policy statements and remember (or be constantly get reminded of) the scant few good things that happen (by happenstance) to appear on their watch.

Cameron's legacy ain't looking good for Cameron is it.

DeeDee99 said...

Not much point calling him out now though, is there. Nothing will be done about it, just like nothing has been done about Blair.

Cameron's legacy will be one of serial failure - apart from the one he never wanted, when Brexit turns out to be the success the Leave campaigners claimed it would be.

Barnacle Bill said...

Three traitorous Prime Ministers in a row - B-Liar, Brown and now Cameroon.

Funny, it reminds me of another Quisling corporation we could do with-out.

Let us hope that things do only happen in threes and that Theresa may prove to be the exception. Although her approach to "Brexit meaning Brexit" doesn't quite seem to be all that encouraging.

Anonymous said...

You laugh Raedwald, but there is something seriously wrong, not only in regard to old slapface...

We have one of the largest defence budgets in the world, not far off of Russia... And yet our armed forces are not much more effective or powerful than that of Ireland.

Meanwhile, no nation would dare invade Switzerland... Indeed when Napoleon tried it, Switzerland gained a couple of cantons.

No nuclear weapons involved, just every man under the age of 40, armed to the teeth with handheld weapons, and a government that does not treat those men with utter contempt.


Anonymous said...

Probably its biggest hit and greatest 'collateral damage' aka deaths, of 'our' British armed forces - Syria [s]bit[/s] theatre, have done most damage to the Syrian army positions and just recently it must be known.

I do miss the your strike facility R, if only for purposes of underscoring my deep cynicism of everything western liberal inspired intervention in sovereign states - which produces the clusterfuck nightmare that are, Iraq and Syria and for that matter the whole of the ME+Iran.


Why does, no one ever mention the plain fact that, Israel obviously much prefers al Assad to any of Dave's 'friends in Syria'?

Finally another observation, why does the beeb et bloody cetera never, ever mention another salient fact that, the continuing blood frenzy of all major al Assad opposition with its invidious and evil genocide; is maintained and serviced by Saudi/Gulf funding and course facilitated through able co-operation from the self styled Sultan of the neo Ottomans?

P.S. Anyone remember the "Arab Spring" where, the west first encouraged and emboldened all al Assad opposition in Syria to 'rise up' - the fuckwit liberals again, in the press and in Westminster - not least of which Dave was rattling his sabre!


Anonymous said...

Very amusing Raedwald, particularly the bit about the Strawberry Mivvie - yes Dave's a cunt and we all know it.

As a former artilleryman with practical knowledge of large mortars I'm fairly certain the aide convoy was not attacked from the air. The lorries are too undamaged and some of them look like they've been torched like in a riot.

Some serious stuff to chew over:

Russia to Samantha Power: We ain’t got time for political whores—go away - Veterans Today

'Nobody Believes in It. Everyone on the Ground Knows They Are Jihadis.' - US Special Forces Hate Their Syria Mission - Russia Insider


Bill Sticker said...

"man-propelled biwheeled attack vehicles"

The Daesh wear Spandex? Kinky...

James Higham said...

Satire is not dead.

G. Tingey said...

Worse than that.
Much worse.
The total of traitorous PM's who have cut, cut & cut our defences are, in reverse order:
Cameron, Brown, Blair, Major, Thatcher - making SIX traitors in a row.
The last PM who stood behind our defences was an ex-Navy man - Jim Callaghan.

If it wasn't so desperate it would be sad.

Budgie said...

As usual, G Tingey, you are factually inaccurate. The following is an extract from the BBC (10-03-2015) which sourced the figures from the MoD:

"By 1978, defence spending was down to 4.5% of GDP. ...........

Defence spending in the US and UK grew in the 1980s as Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher took a more aggressive strategy in the Cold War. The arms race was ratcheted up, which some historians credit for the collapse of the Soviet economy.

When the Berlin Wall came down in 1989, and the Warsaw Pact was dismantled, the Cold War seemed over. The "peace dividend" led countries to scale down their militaries. Spending in the UK had already peaked in 1985 at 5.1% of GDP and fallen back slowly. In 1990, the Thatcher government produced Options for Change, a review looking to make the most of the "peace dividend". ...........

In 1992 the budget dropped 6% and the pattern continued for the next five years."

Thatcher left office 28-11-1990.