Saturday, 1 October 2016

Europe's taxpayer parents to be charged just €1,500 each for 'free' €479 Interrail passes

A wizard new scam dreamt up by Herr Juncker, the EU's senior unelected official, will see each of Europe's taxpayers paying an additional €1,500 a year - in return for which all EU children will, on reaching the age of 18, be given a €479 Interrail pass. 

Explaining the discrepancy in cost, an anonymous EU spokesperson explained that taxpayers would have to pay for all non-taxpayers and the French, and that the EU administration costs of €500 per pass included a signed photograph of Herr Juncker and a signed bound guide to the Standing Committees of the European Parliament as an 18th birthday gift. "The important thing" they said "is that the Interrail pass appears to these credulous youngsters as a gift from the unelected President, rather than something for which their taxpayer parents will pay through the nose".  

Youngsters in countries having no participating rail networks will be instead given some bus tickets and an additional signed bound copy of the Official Guide to the Flag, Anthem and Motto of the EU.


Anonymous said...

As you say Raedwald.... Whimsy.

But I have come to the conclusion that the EU is not the most significant factor in the misery that one has become used to accepting by living in London...

No, that is to a greater extent down to the overcrowding caused by the attitude that our government holds about the people that have to endure it.

There is a 19th century rigid class structure, overseen by a bunch of bureaucRATS that reason that it is always possible to add a few more people and make a few more impositions, as long as you disregard the fact that each unit of meat has a body, spirit and mind (has feelings)...

...Treat the bastards as robotic automatons and you can get away with murder, literally.

Well this rat in a cage is going to leave, before he tops himself.

You made a good and timely move Raedwald.

Raedwald said...

Anon - as you say. There's not a single day I don't give thanks for what I've now got. I thought I'd miss the background of wailing sirens, police helicopters, filthy air, piss-tasting water, car alarms through the night and the crime threat, but I find I don't miss them at all! Prod-nosed officialdom is also noticeably absent, the town hall has a office staff of eight, three of whom I'm on 'du' terms with and the Burgomeister deals with problems at an informal surgery in the pub.

Of course, in London I could have gone to the theatre if I had wanted to (which I did, oh, er, 5 times in 20 years) and of course the museums, which I did visit regularly, some twice a year.

What am I really missing? Right now, Oysters. I'm seriously wondering whether it's worth £95 return air fare and two nights in a Colchester hotel just to gorge on Mersea Island size 3 natives for 48 hours ...

Anonymous said...

BTW: Further to my comment above anon 08:06

I have hear that tractor production is at an all time high.

I thought that the whole of your piece was whimsey Raedwald... Then I followed the link to the Indy, and all was revealed.

Only the bit about the picture of our great leader was facetiousness, the rest was real, and by the time those 'free passes' are available, they will have had the pictures crafted and framed in ivory for our delectation.


DeeDee99 said...

I'm sure all those 18 yr olds in Euro-blighted southern Europe, who have no hope of a decent job in their own countries, will really appreciate the chance to travel about Europe using money they haven't got to pay for their accommodation, food and entertainment.

Use of the word "free" in relation to taxpayer-funded services/schemes should be outlawed. There is nothing free about it ...... it's paid for by involuntary tax contributions from people who have not endorsed it.

mikebravo said...

Youngsters in countries having no participating rail networks will be instead given some bus tickets or a luminous glove with an extra large false thumb.

Funny thing is that a very conservative chap I know voted for Khan as Mayor of London as he thought that was the best way to make sure he kept his free buss pass.
Amazing how people can be bought for an apparent freebie!

anon 2 said...

"The gift that keeps on taking: tie yourself into Dysrope!!"

Just in case the kids think 'eu-topia' is a good place, can no longer bring myself to use "eu-": that Greek prefix for "well/good."

Anonymous said...

The greatest tragedy by far is youth unemployment across the eurozone. In some countries it is 50 per cent but the average figure is over 25 per cent. Five years of this after full time education ends will take the average person ten years to recover from financially. Ten years of lost opportunity - which is common in Greece, Spain, Portugal and Ireland - and these kids may never recover enough to start a proper life.

Millions of youngsters lives ruined by the Brussels mafia.


Budgie said...

See, Raedwald, xenophobic anti-Europe ranters like you have stolen our young people's future - they too could have had a free rail pass ..... mwah ha ha ha ha.