Tuesday, 4 October 2016

Medical places to rise to 2007 level

The UK's programme of training doctors for Australia and the US is set to be temporarily dented by a proposed requirement for financial penalties for those who leave within four years of qualification - probably the period of their lowest earnings, and therefore cheapest for the NHS. As a scheme to get two English trained Housemen for the cost of a single Sudanese-trained agency quack it has merits. 

Of course, the greatest qualification required by new medical graduates today is the ability to the use the NHS computer that tells them what to do. Today's doctors are so woefully unskilled and inept that they cannot be left to make their own diagnoses or to prescribe treatment; patients have a better chance of survival if their doctors follow the flow-charts and computer systems provided by the NHS. A chum of mine at medical school had to use lengthy and quite filthy mnemonics to remember the cranial nerves and suchlike, whilst mine own to remember the French bourgeois virtues was just so memorable (All English Men Chew Toffee On Dreary Mondays*) I can still use it after forty years. 

Anyway, the news that medical training places are to rise to their 2007 levels from the 2016 level of about 6,000 a year will at least give (after an initial hiatus) the US and Australia young doctors with four years of postgrad experience under their belts. 


*Assiduite Economie Mediocrite Conjugalite Tenacite Optimisme Dynamisme Modernite (insert your own accents)

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Given that you are bashing UK medical education, it should not surprise you to learn that medical training in Sudan is actually far more rigorous.

UK medical schools are all about communication - because you need to be able to make people feel better when the NHS treats them like shit. You don't learn very much medicine until you graduate. Because the UK has decided that you need to take 15 years to become a consultant, the longest in the world. In the US, it takes 9 years, they just work longer hours and get more training in.**

As you chose to mention Sudan, well, there it takes 6 years, and that's because they don't waste time on communication and keeping records. They just try their best to get you better then kick you out (or if you can't pay, they just kick you out). And the new student in Sudan gets to do things and learn from day 1, unlike the new UK student who is only permitted to observe for the first 3 years.


** for this reason, Australian doctors don't want to come to the UK. I mean, a lot of them do want to come, but they have reached the top of their profession in Australia, but the UK says their training is only half complete because the UK insists on dragging things out.

Anonymous said...

Having spent much time in hospital wards, witnessing a sea of troubles in the recent past few years, the young Docs are hassled and harried to their wits ends and I empathize, it's mainly the system - not down wholly, to their crass incompetence.

It is systemic, it all starts in Schools and our schools are full of shit peddling Marxists, until something is done in Britain concerning and about shit teachers, poor to non existent teaching, SATS/GCSE's which are not fit for any purpose producing worthless qualifications and next shit Universities, inculcating ill educated students. Forsooth, there is no real hope, just training "more Doctors" won't cut it, and you have to kind of worry about wider medical competence in Australian health authorities.

Notwithstanding the sobering and very real fact that, medicine doctorates are a pale shadow of what they once were. Is, housemen do not receive, cannot be given sufficient time under the care and influence of the Specialist Doctors, all the bureaucracy of a disfunctional health service with EU working time directives, paper work and time spent auditing, yes clerical administration very much precludes specialists time on wards where young doctors learning from senior colleagues: what should be vital knowledge and its imparted experience.

lastly and certainly not least is, a sign of a greater malaise, a disease of our so called 'society', in that, these godless kids, their interaction with patients is shameful and woeful, they simple dearth of real people skills and interaction, thus bedside manners and common courtesy has been abandoned - sometimes you get better service in the downstairs Costa Coffee shop.

We also observe, some Doctors simply are, unrecognized Saints.

Weekend Yachtsman said...

My favourite mnemonic, which I can still remember and use (not that you need to use it very often) after fifty years:

"London Communist Party Needs Promising Subjects Every Good Thursday; Do Help Every Thursday You Like"

Solution left as an exercise for the commenters.

(Hint: chemists may recognise it more easily than others)

Anonymous said...

Black brown rapes our young girls but Violet gives willingly, was almost the one we were taught

G. Tingey said...

Resistor codes .....
Anyone recognise:
Oh. be a fine girl & kiss me right now SLAP

Anonymous said...

Kinky People Can Often Find Great Sex was one I liked but I teach it as Keep Pond Clean or Froggy Gets Sick (for those with a taxonomic bent)

Dr Evil said...

O, o, o, to touch a girl's vagina and hymen. That's the medical mnemonic for the cranial nerves. I know another one about the lingual nerve and a few others I don't dare mention. All filthy, but you never forget them.