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Sunday, 1 July 2007

London bombs 'not scary enough'

Thanks to Sabretache for the 'Register' link; a sound piece of common sense in the face of the media panic. Here's another take on it:
PRIME Minister Gordon Brown has dismissed the latest London bomb scare as "feeble" and "unlikely to frighten the public".

Brown compared MI5 to the cast of 'Police Academy'Mr Brown is understood to be disappointed with MI5's effort, describing it as "half-arsed and transparent".

A source close to Brown said: "The PM wanted to start things off by scaring the absolute, holy shit out of people.

"A badly driven Merc with a couple of gas bottles in the back does not cut the mustard.

"We asked for Arabic literature on the passenger seat, a map of Whitehall with big red crosses on it and a huge controlled explosion on live television. Someone will be getting their backside felt for this."

The source added: "We're trying to introduce ID cards, imprisonment without trial and swingeing restrictions on freedom of speech.

"We wouldn't be able to force through new parking regulations on the back of this pile of arse."

Police say they are looking for "a man" in connection with the incident in London's Haymarket.

A Metropolitan Police spokesman said: "Our investigations are currently centred on a man. If you see a man you should react with complete terror and run screaming into the nearest busy shop or pub."

13 comments:

Ed said...

Brilliant!

I tried to persuade someone at work that these bombs were pretty half-arsed and he swung into full scale Government spin on the "threat". The government is winning this battle at the moment :-(

Sabretache said...

Nice.

That's another rueful little chuckle to cheer me up.

HMG have got their fearful (and hence compliant) public though; so stand by for more surveillance, more police powers; more assumptions of 'guilty until proven innocent' police behaviour, more draconian 'Big Brother' type legislation.

In terms of changing society out of all recognition from 10 years ago - for the worse - the 'Terrorists' have already won.

You might like to have a look at Rod Liddle in todays Times on the matter too - 2/3 through the column (although the English bit is pretty much spot on too.

electro-kevin said...

Absolutely right. I'll tear a strip out of the next person I hear using the mantra "If you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear."

And while we're at it - in light of the recent spate of violent murders - the one that goes "He was in the wrong place at the wrong time." police officers using this expression ought to be disciplined and outed from the force for demonstrating an attitude which is incompatible with effective law enforcement.

Nick Drew said...

Kev - spot on: & that other frequent outrage from the lips of Inspector Knacker

"it was a mugging that went tragically wrong"

The one that takes the biscuit, however, from lowliest PC to the PM himself, is . . .

"but of course crime is down"

quickly followed up by . . .

"the fear of crime is worse than crime itself"

Lilith said...

Very funny R :)

How about Bliar's telling phrase "The greatest freedom is security"

Jason H. Bowden said...

I'm always amused how the media in the United Kingdom refers to Muslims as "Asians." From what I can infer, it seems to be a overly polite way of referring to Pakis, a small subset of the billions who inhabit Asia.

The Newspeak in North America isn't as bad-- as least Muslim Supremacists in our media get the word militant, as if terrorists were activist hippies demanding another government program. But "Asian" is a downright funny term for a terrorist-- one immediately thinks of Chinese, Filipinos, Indians, Koreans, Vietnamese, et cetera. "A terrorist attack: the suspect looked Asian!" LOL! How absurd!

hatfield girl said...

What's the chance of being injured in an attack, amazingly low; what's the chance of being trapped in some kind of transport hiatus because of a real or suspected attack , higher; what's the chance of being stopped and searched, or detained for an unspecified time, lowish; what's the chance of young teenage children getting caught up/detained/bullied/frightened out of their wits/unable to contact anyone for an unreasonable length of time, not neglible and, if they're as determined to protest stuff as I was, quite high.

Friends' children are being picked up and picked on, and caught up in 'security' measures.

Guthrum said...

I have to go to Bristol Airport tomorrow to collect some friends returning from italy, not one Cherokee Jeep has been seen bursting into flames withing twenty miles of Bristol Airport, but no cars are now allowed near the terminal, check in time has been extended by a further hour. Well done Brown, doing the fear and disruption work for the terrorists !
Never mind I suppose we ought to be grateful a British PM is dealing with a British Security Problem for all the British people and making a British pigs ear of the whole British situation in the only way the British can ! If you get my British Drift.

Ed said...

Quite. What's interesting is that most people seem to have realised that changing our behaviour is exactly what the "bombers" are supposed to want so intend to carry on doing whatever they were going to do before (it barely crossed my mind to be worried) but HMG wade in and change our behaviour with extra "security" thus making the whole nation look worried.

Time to take a walk at ground level for those decision-makers who inhabit the ivory towers?

Lilith said...

The Brighton Bomb that took its toll on the Tory Cabinet happened when I worked on Oxford St in my first ever job. Bombs went off left right and centre in those days. Particularly in places like Oxford St. I don't remember thinking, "Jez, if only the Gov. would institute ID cards..."

Our country is too small for too much to get organised without someone noticing. We are too crowded. Even the IRA with all their funding, experience and "expertise", and the fact that they were white and blended in as long as they didnt talk, couldn't ever organise a synchronised bombing campaign.

We have a bunch of hotheaded jihadists amongst a few comunities, who are clearly not supported by any kind of intelligent network or serious finance. Why should we lose our freedoms now? Because the Home Office is incompetent?

CityUnslicker said...

I am a lot more scared of what Gordon Brown is going to do to me!

Ed said...

Why should we lose our freedoms now?

Because the appearance of doing something is now more important than the actual doing.

And because not enough people are standing up and saying "enough".

Newmania said...

Nice one R Mrs N shouted me down when I said I was unimpressed.All that Churchillian baloney about a couple of bangers made me giggle .

"We will remain resolute and unafraid in the face of business as usual"