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Wednesday, 22 October 2008

Fugger just being Foreign?

Tonight's 'Standard' seems to have the details of the alleged 'sexual assault' by the 75 year old Fugger on a 15 year old Harrods customer. He is alleged to have 'French kissed' her. Now, when you're a wealthy little 15 year old princess and meet the ancient owner of London's most famous shop, when he leans over to offer you the obligatory buss on the cheek, the last thing you're expecting is for the old Satyr to try to get his tongue down your throat. It must have been deeply shocking for the little creature. She could have dined out on the "uuurgh Gross!" potentials of the story for years.

However, it seems the full weight of the law is being brought against the Fugger for Frenching a teenie. Perhaps the girl should have known better. As a lad I always maintained maximum distance from elderly ladies, on the presumption that they were wont to grab at one's testicles. Likewise the local CofE vicar. And foreign Grandmamans and the like were even more suspect; bewhiskered and stinking of anise, I wouldn't have put it past any of them to try for a sneaky Frenchy. And Grandpapas, though more sparsely whiskered, would pinch your thigh painfully if you came within range.

Oh for a Hillaire Belloc to remind the young of the offensive tactility of the aged. Especially the foreign ones.

1 comment:

cramerj said...

You must have had some strange relatives and aquaintances.
Was such proximity the custom then?.
Back in the fourties the main hazard was being hugged by large aunts with huge metal broaches on huge bossoms.
Nearly scarred me for life and I was only five then.