Tuesday, 1 September 2009

'Green is for witches!'

Many years ago at a student party in a Gloucester Road basement flat, an appalled drama school lecturer uttered the immortal words 'Green is for witches!' on encountering our lighting scheme for the night. He was quite right. We should have used red lamps; red is hot, sexy, pulsing, flattering and green is ...well, for witches. In nature it's the colour of life, but as a lightbulb colour it's the colour of putrefaction and corruption .. and witches.

Of course, we needn't have bothered with red lamps. All incandescent and halogen lamps are red, and candle flames are really red. Though they all look white because our brains correct the colour imbalance. Anyone who has used a video camera without mastering white balance will know real lamp colour. Office fluorescents are green - as are the new low energy Mercury lamps - and cast a baleful and sickly light, deeply unflattering and very witchy.

The girls can rest assured that lighting in my home will remain warm, flattering, age-reducing and ... incandescent or halogen. Never shall a baleful green low-energy lamp foul my lampholders or insult my guests.

It's a taste thing.

(Oh, and ignore the piccy; it's the gorgeous Alexia Khadime at the Victoria Apollo in 'Wicked' that my clever and discriminating niece dragged me along to a few weeks ago - totally enjoyable)


Chris N said...

Clever and discriminating? More like Borstal material if you ask me. And those low-energy lamp bulbs are really quite pitiful. Long live brilliant, real red light.

Raedwald said...

Ha! There speaks one with 12 A grade GCSEs ...