Rasputin's killers fed him enough cyanide to kill five people, shot him in the back, came back and shot him again three times, clubbed, blinded and castrated him, and it was only as he was crawling away from such inhospitality that they chained him in a carpet and threw him in the freezing river Neva. Where he tried to swim for it. His official cause of death was drowning.
After Peter Watt's 'revelations' in the Mail today that Brown is not only bonkers but oafish (and surely we all knew this already) you may be forgiven for wondering, as Prince Yusupov must have done, at what else was needed to kill him; Brown may be a bottler, but he's as tenacious of his political life as ever Rasputin was. Not only won't Brown die, but he's insisting he's the best person to lead Labour for the next five years.
Because of the gross imbalance in electoral quotas between Labour and Tory seats, Cameron needs a 10% margin to gain a bare majority, and this is what the polls are calling this week. Never mind that, as suggested here, the disgust of the nation with politics may see an election boycotted by more than half the nation's 45m voters. Such a result will appeal to Brown greatly; "See" he will say "I've mitigated the Party's loss, and I'm clearly the right man for the jobbie after all".