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Tuesday, 16 March 2010

Apple Corp bans naked Huns

The Hun, as I've mentioned before, once the age of forty is reached will disrobe at the slightest encouragement. Naked Huns are as ubiquitous to mittel-Europe as Coke and Hershey bars to middle America. There's nothing sexual about this; it's about communing with nature and the pine forests, and embarrassing their teenage children.

So what happens in a global world when the naked Hun meets the Puritan New-worlder? The Americans don't mind sex, just as long as nudity isn't involved. Americans certainly don't like the idea of body hair, either; as Updike has pointed out, American women spend their years not only eliminating every trace of body hair, but every hint of natural human scent, believing that the Barbie doll is exactly what a woman should look like without clothes. The Germans not only sprout abundant body hair all over their generous frames, but are often subtly scented with overtones of pork and breast-milk.

So Apple has banned naked Huns. Or rather, banned 'apps' that feature naked Huns from the iPhone. And the Germans aren't happy. Being naked is a basic human right if you're German.

American cultural hegemony or simple good taste? You decide.


Budgie said...

What bare-cheeked face!

Blue Eyes said...

Why are Apple so prissy about what people use their iPhones for? Stick to selling the handsets and let people use them for whatever they want. A bit like ordinary computers.